Archive | May, 2020

Another Month in Quarantine

14 May

I have an acute awareness that it’s going to be hard to readjust to life outside of quarantine.  I anticipate going through quarantine withdrawal.  So, I’ve been obsessed with chronicling the experience.  (Which is absolutely worthless, in terms of function.)
And yet, here we are.  The truth is, I am self-isolating with a funny, happy, loving, professional comedian. And, I get to laugh all the time. Here’s what I’ve been up to:

My quarantine calendar:

April 14th
First thing’s first, I filed for unemployment. (Spoilers, I got rejected.)
– Welcome back, for one week only, Blue Apron


The only thing I like better than taking pictures of food, is eating.


April 15th


On our walk we thought caliper was a tree because it was written on tree markers. It is a not.  It is a tool for measuring.

– Beans & greens for brekkie. Banana bread with chocolate chips for dessert.
– Angie, Ziva, and coffee from the Bean Thru.
– “Plant emergency!”


Our very first SUSH show! I practiced.  Collin was nervous for me.



April 16th
– Binge and snack

Me: “Why are you so wired today?”
Col: “I dunno…Probably cause I drank 4 maybe 5 Dr. Pepper’s.”


Fine View fitness trail.


“Who’s pig do we have to slaughter to get invited to your party?” – Schitt’s Creek


April 17th
– On our morning walk, haunting screams coming from the 6th street bridge.
– Hamburger helper on steroids, a new Blue Apron favorite.
– Well, I thought it was funny (a comedy show).


April 18th
Weekend vibes before a spiral into…


April 19th
…a black hole.


– Trader Joe’s, Aldi, and Giant Eagle.
– My bestie, Emily, to the rescue by the aviary, with a Heineken.
– Collin made 59 cookies.


A cookie making factory.

April 21st




4/22 is 4/20, too
– The best breakfast I’ve ever had. Sunny side up eggs, yummy bread cooked in bacon fat, ripe avocados, sliced tomatoes, all eaten with my hands, full on messy.
– Mimosas, sub tequila
– Hey Siri, “Are birds a mammal?”  Who, who needs to know?
– A Patrick phone hang 🙂
– Collin, in the kitchen, making food that will make our taste buds explode.



Look at this TALENT


April 23rd
– A perfect day. Again with that breakfast!
Collin started a podcast called Hell Gigs! Listen, subscribe 🙂
– Chicken tortilla soup for lunch.  Mmmm.
– A Molly hang, with notes. At 26 minutes I looked at my timer: MAY DAY.  This was the day before Molly was going to have arrived in Pittsburgh. Lesson one: Do this again. 
April 24th
– Yoga in the morning


Homemade eggplant parmigiana and incredible salad.. ARE YOU KIDDING ME


– An Emily FaceTime with hours worth of culled clothes.


April 25th
– Aunt Marjean received half the envelope with no pop tabs.  5 days later, we received the other half.
– Hello Bistro.
– Hen, roasted.
– Really nice night time snuggles.


April 26th
– Arugula pizza and mint ice cream.  Because? It’s Sunday.
– The last episode of UnOrthodox
– The funnest painting project!


Qu-ART-antine: The best thing we’ve ever made together.


– A family Zoom, washing the couch cushions, and a book to edit.


April 27th
– Anthrocon is officially canceled.
– 126 days until move in Bae.
– A deconstructed egg roll.
– “Is this our life now? Listening to the police scanner?”



A good view.


April 28th
– Too Hot to Handle; including stalking cast members & texts with Emily to fuel the fire.

April 29th
– HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BELLA! It’s a great day for a great day 🙂
– Collin made cabbage noodles and I ate 3 bowls.
– Didn’t get through once but…called the unemployment office 872 times.
– SUSH birthday edition, featuring The Brulee of Hellie.



A social distancing porch hang with Emily on Bella’s birthday ❤


April 30th
– A
social distancing hang with Nick.
– CAA potential hookup; thanks, mom!
– Brought toddle into bed. Disgusting.


May 1st
– Collin was my hairdresser.  I thought Joyce might be out of a job but Collin said he would “pay her double to never have to do that again”. We shall see.
– Burgers from Riley’s Pour house.
– UCB ASSSSCAT. They’re on Zoom and we’re on Zoom and now I’ve left Zoom.


May 2nd
– Missed our anniversary. (We did, however, accidentally, have rainbow cake.)


Hanna moving out day. Congratulations!


“Today a bird dropped to it’s death next to me. I have not recovered.” – Col
– Song and story swap with Cousin Richard.
That backyard firepit lyfe.


May 3rd
Trash AND recycling night (again?! Where does the time go?)
– Blackklansman, a movie we loved.
– Geocaching around the corner. DNF.
– Family Zoom, it must be Sunday.


May 4th
– The computer AND my stimulus check arrived; oh glorious day.
– Played catch outside on a wonderful, long walk.


May 5th
– Sammi day 🙂  Plants galore, a perfect Thai lunch special, Gigi’s cupcakes, and at night, a show of my choosing: Inside Number 9.


May 6th
– Scrappy, sadly, lost a freezer.
– Emily’s friendship, I acquired my first “new clothes” since this all began.


SUSH: Pre show hang!



SUSH: Post show hang!


May 8th
– Market District Giant Eagle shopping trip.
– A surprise present, a quarantine knife!
– Homemade schmaltz to go into that homemade, matzo ball soup.
Molly asked me to be her MOH!!!!


May 9th
– Angie’s surprise sweet 16 birthday. Monopoly Cheaters Edition.


May 10th
– Mother’s Day
– Nate let us drive his BMW


May 11th
– Inside Number 9, before we have to delete our free subscription (or so we thought…)
– An afternoon hang with Helen, we don’t need Aaron.

May 12th
– Cried about not being able to buy a cheap plane ticket to Norway this year.


May 13th
– An out of body experience. Napped for two hours. Woke up to more matzo balls.
– Texting on Instagram with a plant doctor
– Bed at 3:30am, just kidding, 12:30am. Cracking myself up.



May 14th
– I’ve never seen so many matzo balls together for me to enjoy; so special; so beautiful; 5.



All the glory.


– 109 days until move in Bae.
– Findley Lake hang with omg that steak dinner.
– Family game night 🙂 Are you having fun? “A moderate amount” – dad
– When everyone went to sleep we finished season 3 of Schitt’s Creek.


Happy too,