Mystery Trip 2.0

For me, travel is an art. And like any art, the more one gets into it, the more… I become the thing that I am doing. Completely absorbed.

So, I planned a trip to ******. I mean, I traveled to ******.  I mean…I am Travel?
If I’m going to overshare, it would be to tell you that I immersed myself in planning this trip with the vigor of someone newly dating and freshly out of, what I had hoped would be a forever relationship, though, sadly, I am no longer with either man. Complicated matters of the heart. Le sigh.  I AM single now though (fellas, hey!). And moving to New York (again!).  With my forever favourite comedian extraordinaire, Helen Wildy. Taking a second (comedic) bite out of the Big Apple 🙂

Anyway, if I was going to appropriately share…I would tell you that THIS was a Mystery Trip.

(Along with a Mystery Man whom I went on it with.) The idea was, you may remember, that he wouldn’t know where we were going until we landed. So brave, so trusting, so, so FUN!

 

I was particularly impressed with this man’s sense of adventure — and rightly placed confidence in me.  A few weeks after knowing each other (and many memorable hangs) we flushed out what his requirements were: A budget of $2,000, somewhere warm, where we would spend at least half of our time on the beach relaxing (he had just graduated from nursing school), and perhaps an island? My requirements included: No “all-inclusives”, ideally a developing country, a healthy dose of (inland) adventure, and definitely a country that I’d never been to before.

We allotted ourselves two (very) full weeks of travel and I got to pick and plan EVERYTHING. He knew nothing! I was giddy.  Flexing my travel skills and becoming engrossed in a flow state, I spent every single spare second I had (and some that I didn’t) joyfully designing this carefully curated experience with him (and us) in mind.  When we arrived at our destination country, the Mystery Man and I had known each other for 9 weeks and it.was.exhilarating!

 

 

I front ended my (intense) labor so that Mystery Man and I could just relish all of my hard work and properly enjoy vacation together. Reminder, this playful guy did not want to know where we were going, which made for funny/challenging conversations with his friends and family the week before we left. To all the parents reading this: The day before we departed, I sent his immediate family a two page itinerary with the addresses of where we would be staying each night, for safety. They responded with appropriate enthusiasm ❤  I flexed every chiseled travel muscle I had in the making of this trip. 

 

 

 

 

We landed on an island, or “caye”, as they’re called here; Ambergysis Caye, to be specific. Not an island that I need to go back to but a very soft landing for our 101 class loosely titled: “Introduction to traveling with ‘mi’”.

Most of our time here was spent in the above hammock – that pic was taken from our porch.  On the island we indulged in coconut drinking, Belkin drinking (heavy bottles), animal petting at the humane society (which I highly recommend), golf-cart renting, stone crab eating (they were in season, yum!), and Secret Beach exploring. 

 

 

After 3 nights we headed to Caye Caulker, our preferred island.  Here, we were close to the Hol Chan Marine reserve where we went swimming with nurse sharks! AH! Sharks! Whaaaat! It was my first (and second) time swimming with nurse sharks! So insanely cool (!!!!) that Mystery Man and I opted to do it twice. — He had gone from nursing school to swimming with nurse(ing) sharks in a matter of a weeks, awesome!

We also went…snorkeling with manatees!  MANATEES!!!!  – FOR REAL!!! IN the water!!!! WITH MULTIPLE MANATEES! – It was incredible. I’d never seen them underwater like that before. Such gentle, giant creatures.  Additionally, we saw heaps of healthy marine life in the wild, including a charming sea turtle, barracudas, brain coral, colorful fish, and seahorses.  Belize knows how precious their reef is to their economy (and tourism) and the country and its people have gone to great length to preserve it. It’s inspiring, the way they’re protecting the biodiversity and health of the invaluable Belize Barrier Reef.

But yet, my favourite underwater activity – and it is so hard to pick just one, why are you making me? – was the nightly feeding of stingrays.  Check out how big they are!  How soft! How sweet!!  One of the top experiences of my life (AND I got to do it 5 days in a row. The highlight was when one of the feeding guys gave US the bucket of fish to hold! We had officially made it as islanders.) I loved those animals!! Even that stingray who gave me a suction bite on my left ankle, bless her hungry heart. It’s the most tempted I’d ever been to get a tattoo as I wanted to commemorate that stingrays love-bite of, what I’m interpreting as, affection.

 

 

Eventually, Mystery Man and I headed inland where we spent our first night on the mainland at this accommodation. It was the only place where we stayed without air conditioning and, even given that, it was still my favourite.

 

 

That night we took a tour of the Belize zoo. I know, I’m not usually a fan of zoo’s, who would be?! Unethical! But this zoo is something special.  It has been designed for the comfort of the animals, what a concept! The Belize zoo exclusively has animals that are native to Belize (Read: zero lions, zero giraffes, and zero elephants). Plus, one hundred percent of these wild creatures have either been rescued or are being rehabilitated.  It’s an incredible mission and wonderful place to learn about the local wildlife we would continue to encounter as we headed deeper into the jungle over the next week. The night tour was so captivating and engaging that the following day we still hadn’t had enough (!) so we went back for a one-on-one jaguar encounter.

Yes, that’s me, hand feeding a jaguar (with a cage between us, don’t worry, it wasn’t like the time I fed a wild hyena raw meat out of my mouth in Ethiopia.)  Petting and breaking proverbial bread (meat) with a real-life jaguar was super, super special.

 

One minute of sounds from deep in the rainforest.

 

It was the perfect temperature to swim (we had to, in order to explore) and a group of us spent 3 hours inside of that cave, with our guide, investigating and appreciating ancient Mayan pottery and seeing sacrificial human bones (including multiple skulls!).  We learned that every cave in Belize has remnants and sacrifices from the Mayan people because they believed eerie and mystic caves were portals to the underworld. Neat!

Once outside again, in the sunshine and drying off, we saw a wild baby armadillo.
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I’m oversharing , but this was a really tough day.  My Mystery Partner and I…had some serious disagreements.  He ended up giving me the silent treatment for over 18 hours.  I wasn’t sure how (or why) I could continue leading us on different trips or excursions. It was painful. And sad. The next day I was in very low spirits. We ended up continuing on but the damage had been done, once my eyes were opened to how he treated me, our relationship was tragically beyond repair.

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Back to the good stuff:  If you’ve followed my blog (or know me at all) you can appreciate that I like to add a bonus country to any itinerary.  Or, you might remember the only-makes-sense-to-us phrase from above, ‘I am Travel’.  I created this entire itinerary so, duh, I’ll add anything that pleases me.  Bonus countries please me.  Taking public transportation pleases me. Becoming a more understanding, global citizen while seeing how most of the world lives and travels? Say less.

Every single day Mystery Man had no idea what was on our itinerary, and every single day he was happily surprised. I was “hitting it out of the park!”, his words, not mine. You know I would never use a basketball reference.  Anyway, on this particular day (he thought we were going on an overnight hike to a waterfall), we pulled up to what was unmistakably a border crossing.  “Are we going to another country?!” he bemused
“Mexico?!” was his first and only guess.  

Ah, these moments make me so happy! A Mystery Trip 🙂

We exchanged money on the side of the road and he learned we were receiving  “quetzal”.
“What’s that?!”, he asked. 
‘It’s resplendent.’, I said, ‘and also the currency this country uses.  Do you know which country spends “quetzal”?’  

We took both a public bus and a Tuk Tuk (his first time on either) to the island of Flores. I wanted Mystery Man to be able to compare Belize to another Central American country.  So close – literal neighbors! – and yet so distinct.   In Guatemala (a booming metropolis compared to Nicaragua, eh Hen), we ate the best mangoes, spent the least amount of money (things are cheaper here), and spoke solamente español. It felt very, very different.  

I talked to a Guatemalan man who explained to me why he went inside to school everyday, not because he wanted to learn but because he didn’t want to be on public transportation anymore! It was so hot, he lamented, as we sat on the bus dripping with sweat.

Mystery Man and I lived simply in Guatemala but we missed Belize.  So, after 24 hours we made a triumphant return to the rental car (we’d left it at the border crossing) and promptly went for a refreshing dip in a glorious, inviting, blue river that connected both countries. We were so very happy to be back.

To continue our celebrations, we drove to a special spot:

 

 

Here, we went skinny dipping. And my goodness do I LOVE skinny dipping. That’s from my college days; Ithaca, Colleen, and those gorgeous gorges! I love being naked outside (with no bugs and in water).  Hella naked.  Butt naked. Like legs spread to the full moon.  That’s actually how we communicate, the moon and I.  I asked my Mystery Partner if there was a stereotype of loving being naked outside and he said “if you were vegan, yes. But since you’re not, no.” I laughed and he went on “I would just say to anyone ‘you love being in nature and then getting naked, stop being jealous. And just chill. Everyone needs to chill.’” ❤
Like I said, it was one of our best memories.

Then! Some woman walked up on us while we were luxuriating in the water without our swimsuits (how dare she) and the funniest moment of our trip happened as I slowly and repeatedly struggled to get my bathing suit on, in the water, while my Mystery Man, who is a fantastic swimmer, provided all the help he could. It was hard not to swallow tons of water as we were both laughing so hard, trying to keep our modesty and stay afloat.

 

 

We spent the night in a place called Sleeping Giant, visited the Blue Hole inland (important distinction), and headed to Hopkins, on the coast, a place known for their friendly people and special drumming.   In Hopkins, we ate a dish I’d been searching for called “stewed gibnut” — aka royal rat.  I was proud I’d spotted it on a menu (nevermind that it was already after we’d eaten dinner and not before).  It was good! Not my favorite exotic meat, of course, that distinction still lives with Ecuadorian guinea pig.

 

The next day we woke up early, visited a butterfly farm, bought some artwork that I cherish made out of butterfly wings, hired a guide, hiked the Tiger Fern Trail, visited a double waterfall, swam in both (not naked), saw claw marks from a wild leopard, crossed paths with a very deadly snake, took pictures by an old plane crash, and stared at a tarantula for minutes on end. It’s pictured below, Hellie, so proceed with caution:

 

We pulled an audible and decided to go back to Caye Caulker, needing to drive through Belize City to drop off our rental car. We took a very cheeky short-cut highway (AQ car company, cover your eyes) and made it to the capital city with time to stop for food and catch a ferry.

 

 

 

Ah, back to island life!
We made friends, enjoyed the nurse sharks, drank juice, ate fry jacks, saw the stingrays, fed the stingrays!, met a fellow Swiftie, and rented bicycles to check out the brand new clinic. I was really glad we did that last thing, too, because the following day I needed antibiotics; I had been struck with a UTI (reminder of what I had been doing the previous evening.)  Lots of tears (from me) and kindness (from my newly graduated Mystery Nurse which made this the first time in my life that I’ve ever, ever been grateful for a UTI).  The doctors visit, tests, and my medicine was completely free / donation based.  Are other countries just…doing things better??

 

Sour sopping it up,
‘mi

PS. Creole! They speak creole!
PPS. For my own knowledge, how many islands does Belize have?!  450