Unleashed

26 Jun

In honor of one of my favorite things in the world being less than 10 days away….
This is a (fun) parody of a poem by the former Slam Poetry World Champion, Harry Baker.

 

 

Anthrocon (aka, the furries)

Prelude:  I’ve spent most of my young life trying to fit in because at school I was told I was a big eared, lanky girl who would never get a boyfriend.  Teachers can be cruel.  I was also told that I was creative, intelligent, thoughtful, kind, and brilliant.  Thanks mom.  But what if we were made to stand out?  What if we were made to escape the rat race?  I’m going down that rabbit hole.  This playful poem is for my “people”.

 

As I refur you to the animal kingdom
We’ll just puff puff pass like a dragon’s own wingdom

I’m a furryyyy roaming canine
Who just signed on to wolf it down
Pittsburgh is my hometown

Furisky is my fur name
EEL-ated is my fur name
I prefer things when they’re off the chain

Feel the power
touch your howl
It’s not complex
read the syntax

At Anthrocon I never quite know what to expect
But every year has been the best yet
So on your mark get set
GULP

Try to swallow this down your esophagus
I’m an optimist, rhinoceros, with a hypothesis
A cat with a dog tail ain’t preposterous

A.D.D. has never been a con.  What’s the con? Anthrocon. Imagicon.  This is context.
Here’s two cents.  I get the sense that it’s all nonsense

Having a cow!? Cat got your tongue??
Hold your horses — we’ve heard how they’re hung

In a squeaky accent you can say anything
and it’s difficult to sound menacing

(squeaky accent) I’m not pro life, I’m fur life!
Like that owl amongst a rodent pack
who left without a single snack

Personify.  Person imma fly.  Imma fly fly outta here on the buzz of my fursona
Get so high yinz think that I’m a stona

Metaphorically creeping
and lyrically speaking
Our birds and our bees are real birds and real bees
who know how to please
while you’re on your knees
I’ll climb on your back
Where are all my Tauras’ at?!!

Some fursuiters are naked underneath.
Now imagine the fun that we’re having and then adding the feeling of fleece

Life is an expression
not a depression
and there ain’t no reason the furries shouldn’t be kickin’
and licken’
and sticken’ their noses in all kinds of fun

My giraffe taught me the gift of not fitting in
So in a way, these things I say, are an embodiment of him

My snake taught me it might take awhile for folks to see your hidden worth
So in a way, these things I say, are a reflection of her

We need less teasing, less telly, less CSI
More jungle, more wagging, more give it a try

Pile meta facts with questionable reality as perception starts to teeple
It’s us animals who stand around and pretend to act like people.

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