Adventuresam

July was all about spending time with my best friend(s) especially Bel, my dream roommate, my soul-mate, who would be moving to Seattle (with the love of her life) while I was in Ethiopia.  It would be the end of an era.

BFFs ❤

We were going to make the absolute best of July, which was bound to be fun since Katie Barbaro had surprised us with her appearance– she had been traveling all over the world and (quite literally) just showed up at my doorstep one day. 

Before the furries, Katie, Col, and I took a road trip up to Findley Lake. On the ride, we were starving and looking for “more bananas, less republic.” So we stopped at Eat ‘N Park and, after we ate, took some muffins outside to throw against a wall for play.

We also met my parents and went to the National Comedy Center (!), but my mom and dad wanted to keep the cotton candy grapes company in the car, so it was just Col, Katie, and me for that one.

Jam seshing

That night, we had a mini concert upstairs and took a short boat ride to dinner. Dinner and a show! And a boat… dinner and a show/boat.

Cruisin’

The next day, Patrick and his dad came up to the Lake for lunch 🙂

The gang’s all “hear”…feat. the furry ears I put on my phone

After lunch, we headed out on a longer boat ride. This was pre-Ethiopia.. PrE-thiopia, if you will, and you should, if you’re going to read those blog posts coming up.  Anyway, I gave some of my inside-thoughts about what I thought Ethiopia would be like “based on nothing.” Katie took notes. 

Patrick also brought me my birthday present (wrapped in the picture below…). It was AMAZING, but you’ll have to read the furry blog to find out what it is 😉 

A photo FULL of presents. And presence.

After the furries were over, it CLEARLY deserves a post of its own, the dreamflat — Katie, Bel, and I — played Pandemic 9 times in one day to unwind… And we finally won!!

We also made some amazing cookies with our new Kitchen Aid mixer. And, Katie preformed on a showcase at The Improv.

 Blue Apron dinners in July.

This month/always, I wanted to soak up all of the love from Col. So he and I spent days– yes, days…plural– in bed catching up on Handmaid’s Tale. We also drove back up to Findley Lake to meet my parents’ sweet outdoor kittens: Barley, Bean, and Olive.

Furry to furry connection

This month was also the Dutchtown Music Festival!  Literally right outside our front door. Obviously we had to check it out.  At one point, there was even a marching band in our favorite park; Bel and I ran outside to appreciate them.

Best seat in the house.

Because all of us were together — Katie was there for almost the entire month — The three of us bought matching/mismatching earrings and then tried to take Helen to get her ears pierced (not gauged) in the Southside. 

The day I left for Ethiopia was hard.  For breakfast, Collin made me a version of the dream flat meal with eggs 2 different ways ❤

And Bel, my darling Bel, had bought the cheapest plane ticket we could find so that she could accompany me through airport security – say hi to Emily and Laura – and so that we could spend every last possible second together.  She wasn’t really flying on a one-way ticket to Altoona.  Instead, she and I hung out in the newly revamped airport lounge where we shared a chair, champagne, hugs, and a whole bunch of tears.

I’m not crying, you’re crying. Well, actually, we’re both sobbing.

As we said our goodbyes and I got on the plane, I was thinking of Bel.  I tried to remember the positive parts to a life in transition; it forces you to try new thing and opens you up to new experiences (some that you didn’t even know you wanted). Sigh.  Not to mention, all the gratitude I was feeling for getting to live under one roof with my bestie, Bella, the laughs that we shared and the memories we made.  I had been SO lucky ❤

Life wisdom:   You can’t unburn a cookie.

To Bella,
with love,
Bam

“It’s dopening day! ”  – Bel
Our furry squad was reaching the height of dopeness!!

Helen, Patrick, Molly, a super surprise named Katie, Russ, Emily, Victoria, Collin, Laura.

This years furry bingo sheet.

We all put so much energy into the furries, bringing people around that we love and who help us shine. “I think the furries brings out the best.” – ‘mi
“The furries are our Burning Man” – KB

The group gathered with puns, hugs, and stories. Russ came in hot with a few gems. 1. How he met the “Bob Ross of furry erotic art” on his flight over, and 2. How when Russ was little he used to tell people his name was “Wuss” because he couldn’t pronounce his R’s.  Bonus: 3. Wuss wasn’t on my case at all. In fact, he was really nice to my case — my phone case.  He was always petting her and being super sweet. (see below for a remind-ear of what my phone case looked like.)

Clawsome new journal!

The gang’s all here… just not in this picture.  Note:  photobomb made by furry phone

Standing in the kitchen: Patrick told Katie he decided he wanted his own children when listening to her podcast.

Standing outside: Patrick asked Katie for a favor:
Patrick: Can you blow this bug off my arm?
Kate: Patrick… if you say jump, I’m on it

The festivities officially kicked off on Wednesday night when the whole gang – including Brittny, Ricky, and Katie Diamond – joined us for Italian dinner.  We had funny conversations and lots of Good Questions (GQ).  I let everyone know that the BYOB drinks were pre-offerized and Ricky, incredibly, opened a bottle of wine with a knife.  

Punorities:  When your priorities are pun based.
Stopping mid conversation to evesdrop on a pun.

Katie D. asked Katie how her jokes went in Iceland?
Katie: “They Icelanded.”  HA!

Conversation at dinner:  How much would you pay for a full human skeleton? I don’t want to separate the skull from the bones.

Russ, reporting back to us about a different conversation: They were talking about killing and cleaning a guinie pig.  “What!?  Go back and ask how that came up”.  – Bel

Good listeners AND good talkers

After dinner, Patrick and Katie walked the plank… and not the zucchini variety.

We headed back to the Dreamflat to make (the best ever) cookies. During the dessert session, Ricky noticed that we needed a mixer (AND has since sent us one– THANK YOU <3). Plus Brittny found the WONDERFUL birthday present that Patrick got me…

“Um, excuse me, this car is octopied…”

A FULL FURRY SUIT TO WEAR FOR THE ENTIRE CONVENTION!! A FIRST FOR OUR GROUP!!!! WE WERE GOING TO GET TO ENTER THE PARADE!!!

Octopus, octopi, octopuses…the sentiment is itentical..

Makin’ everyone laugh with ten tickles.

“In America, we love puss.” – Molly

Before we’d gotten together, the pack used this year’s Anthrocon’s official theme — Surf Pacific — to choose our names:

Sammi: Eel-ated

Helen: Clown Fish

Patrick: Friction Underwater

Victoria: Whale Wolf

Emily: Shrimp

Laura: Ink-redible

Katie: Whaley Swift

Standout name options that didn’t make the cut…:  New squid on da block, Oy(vey)ster, WAGuna beach, EleFUN in the sun, SHELL yeah!, So-fish-ticated , Crabsolutely, Ooo barracuda!, Ten-tickles, Swim trunks , Pupcific Rim , Sun of a beach, Prawn king and queen, Yeah, buoy!!, Pelican’t right now, You turn me Prawn , Sea horsin around, Sam the clam, What the duck…tolling retriever

Four-eared friends

Thursday morning we did yoga in the park with Cassie 🙂

Nam-rawr-ste

After yoga, Furiction Underwater and Whaley Swift cooked breakfast, which we wolfed down like wild animals. It was delicious.

Please feed the animals.

Next up was the “Strange and Weird” sightseeing cruise that I had booked furr everyone! The furry one! The one that the furries were on!  The Gateway Clipper! You get it!
Except I must’ve had some a miscommunication with the computer because… we weren’t on the right cruise

You get what you pay for.

Pawsitivley patriotic on the fourth of July.

“Was the best part of that cruise when we passed the actual boat that the furries were on and waved!?” 

They said it was a strange cruise. They said it was going to be weird.  But in reality “it just lacked facts #factlack” – Clown Fish, our new tour guide

Can you believe we’re not on that??

We were like two ships passing each other in broad day light.

As we waited in line for the (disappointing) boat, someone came up to us and said, “Hey, furries! Look at this!” And pulled out real-fur sugar gliders. It was VERY cute and SUPER unexpected. “Furry surprise” CHECKED off the Bingo sheet.

That night, we watched spider monkey videos from Patrick, and did some prep for how people were going to react to The Octopus; Mostly actions and not words because “you’re a walktopus, not a talktopus.” – Molly

“Say 8!” – Brian Regan

4 ears, its just a fun insult for us.

Day 1: Eager beavers.

Day 2: Howlin’

Day 3: Fur-eaks

“Like, even the girls from my high school who still said huzzah probably wouldn’t come to the furries” – Shrimp 

Opening ceremonies set the stage (and was on a stage) for a whole weekend of fun.  

SonicFox with a microphone up his mouth.

This year, the charity was raising money for parrots who needed expensive surgeries. And we laughed until we cried while sharing (the best) cookies from last night. 

And later, we met Queenie:

#YassQueenie

We asked:
“Why are your eyes two different colors, Queenie?”
Answer: “It’s called heterochromia, and just between us, it’s the only thing that’s hetero about me, baby.”  Haha, got it.

The group also met Smoochy Boo, a mistletoe character who smelled wonderful.– Definitely deserving of a smooch.  And we met some safari hunters who were looking to see unusual animals interact with each other.  

Patrick had a fur-lebrity sighting (CHECK that off of the bingo sheet)! The mascot talk leader from last year…(see below)

Patrick had some follow up questions.

This year, I learned more about how suits were made.  It’s really cool!

Then Victoria, who felt like she wasn’t in America anymore (fair), went to Fursuiting 101, where she heard a golden nugget of wisdom: “You’re already a big, fluffy animal. Clearly you’re happy.”

Fluff on fluff.

Getting a little too chummy for my taste..

We took our food and lunch breaks on that familiar floor.  Mostly diving into the snack pack (a backpack full of snacks), which had all the treats we wanted.  Including grapes, which Patrick, Wuss, and I had picked up at Giant Eagle pre-convention…when Patrick, with his grocery cart, WAS DE PON A MISSION.
The group also relied on Grubhub for hot meals.  We had Thai food two days in a row which got better each day ’cause we knew what to order.  “Extra broccoli, please”

“This water bottle says Russ but it’s really Sammi’s.” – Sammi

While snackin’, we met Bizzy (with tennis balls) from last year. Luckily, he didn’t remember us.

Too Bizzy to mingle.

Lounging on the octo-pillow

We had read (in advance) about the talks and panel discussions, so we were ready to check them out when we got there. The first one was “Definitely Not a Fox Party,” which wasn’t a very strong use of reverse psychology.  We were onto them; it was a fox party.  We happily went, and there was a powerpoint but no presentation. Just a photo of an adorable baby fox that stayed up on screen for the entire duration of the talk.

The fox party was seemingly in the midst of filming a music video, and they played us the track. The head, red fox (also a redhead) asked us “Does it need more fox?” 

GQ, fox. GQ.

Katie: “I honestly think I’m becoming more fox right now.” How could you not be??

It was during this talk where we learned about the Telegram app.  And also where we decided we should add “…being chased by a fox” to every idiom. For example:

• “Running around like a chicken with its head cut off….being chased by a fox” – Clown Fish
• “We dodged that bullet…being chased by a fox..”  – Furiction Underwater

After the talk, we wandered around the convention. Some of the group ran into the founder and celebrity….Samuel Conway!!

A regular Dr. Doolittle

Others of us mingled.

Saw some fintastic new furries.

And as we wandered, we wondered, “Where can we go be casual next?” 

Best friends no matter what animal we inhabit.

We found our way to the dealers room, where we could be casual and purchase a couple of cool backpacks. And Molly, who took a redeye from LA on Friday, took her own much-needed cat nap.

Nobody puts kitty in a corner.

We saw some epic dance competitions.  I would not discourage you from watching this video:

Sometimes, at this event, fursuiters would wave their fursuit head on their arms, as lighters, to show their support.

Daily, we took a picture with as much of the crew as we could gather.

You know what’s ironic?  The bigger the ears, the harder to hear.

We went to the Rodent talk, a favo-rat every year.  This time, the beaver was a heckler.  When the Moderator Matthias asked: “Who here resonates with being the little guy that wins!?”  The beaver replied, “Beavers aren’t that small.”

The rodents discussed being the misfits. They’ve always had a negative connotation because they caused the plague. “C’mon. All we did was cause the death of ⅔ of the human population…” – Furiction Underwater

During this talk, Wuss raised his hand to ask how he’d know if he was a squirrel?
Answer:

• You have a big, fluffy tail.
• And, here’s a question: Do you delay your food gratification?

Followed by: “Since we’re discussing squirrels”….a random guy who wanted to transition topics.

As Matthias finished up the talk Patrick whispered, “Does anyone have Matthias’ number so we can call him and see if he picks up in the middle of discussion?” Lots of GQ’s.

Later, we went to a hoofer talk, where everyone had to introduce themselves but Collin and Wuss bowed out gracefully.  And then, a huge, spontaneous blow up party grew up around us.  Some sentences only make sense at the furries.

Horsin’ around.

Whaley Swift, talking to a small horse:  “Do you like to get ridden?”

Now watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh

An elephant with an octopus head.  Being walked by her dalmation mole.

Furiction Underwater and I decided to sign up for (and win) a furry escape room!  There were eight spots available which was how Octopus, Party of 8, got her official team name.  Even the orchestrators of the Escape Room were impressed with our strategies.   They said we worked well together, were clearly the fastest, and afterwords, they wanted to be our friends.  Party of 8, and growing 🙂

Octopus, Party of 8

Afterward, on the way to Railfur’s talk, I met Babaru.   A friendship that, at first, went swimmingly.

This seems fishy.

Babru and I took many pictures together, and I thought we had fun.  But Babru didn’t remember me later.  “That’s because she has the memory of a goldfish” – Wuss.

Babaru shut me down hard.  It was almost cruel. We were both underwater animals. I had thought we had had something. I was devastated.  Am I laughing so hard or am I just crying?  I said, in a retelling of the story.  “Delete the pictures. Delete them all.”

Luckily, the fact that it was almost parade time distracted me.  Patrick and I went into a room we had never gotten to go into before!  He was my handler and we seemlessly blended in with all the other fursuiters who had gathered in the Hall A. It was an experience neither of us will ever forget (unlike Babaru who WE HAVE ALREADY FORGOTTEN ABOUT).

Before we headed off, Molly reminded me to “remember your moves”

Pre the first OFFICIAL furry photo.

Patrick’s perspective:

Can you spot my orange head? (Hint: middle, all the way to the left)

And thus, the parade began…

#1 fans ❤

Octoproud!!

During the parade, Patrick, the not-pictured handler (handlers have a tough job) “Remember your moves!”

All fur-together again.

Octo-scarf

After the parade, there was (obviously) still fun to be had. Wuss realized he just might be a moose.

Antler alert.

And we went to the My Little Pony Talk.  Where Katie was having a very good ear day.

“I’ve never gotten so much ear attention!” — Katie
“How stelephant got her groove back.” – Molly

Prized pony.

At the talk, we won some prizes.  And Wuss looked up the lyrics and sang the theme song ❤ Perhaps that will be his next karaoke breakout??

This year, we also learned how important badges are because they represent what ‘you’ look like before you can afford get a costume. Or, as you’re figuring it out.   Party of 8 was commissioned, looking very mischievous, and currently hanging on my fridge. Katie drew this badge for Helen:

.

Furfection

Should Katie set up a booth in the Dealers Room next year??

At one point, we saw 3 blind mice and wondered…Is the guy in front the leader of the Blind Talk?  (a real event that we went to.)  During that talk, we heard “If you’re going to be blind, “also be fat ’cause if you crash into someone, it’s better for you than it is for them.”

Molly asked a GQ:  “What are the perks of being blind?” #blindperks

• In airports, you only need minutes to get through security.
• No car insurance.
• No electric bill. 

On Saturday night, to close out the convention, there was a rave (of course). In fact, it was THE best rave ever and DJ Ultra Pup made an appereince.  

To quote my boyfriend in what might be one of my favorite videos ever… “It’s lit.” 

Outside the rave cave!

Inside the rave cave!

Who’s ready to octopartyyy?

Passing around the tentacles

Everyone took a turn wearing The Octopus 🙂

GIVING ME LIFE!!!

Col, Patrick, and Wuss making my heart burst with LOVE

My heart repairing itself so it can BURST WITH LOVE one more time.

Molly was all over it.  We needed her; She made Helen’s hair match her own, she scoured the building until she found some long straws that I desperately wanted.
“I feel so safe here.” – Molly

Saturday night is the best.
And Sunday’s are great, too.  After closing ceremonies, the team, what was left of us, had a heart to heart at Proper Brick Oven before heading back to the Dreamflat to watch a one-woman show of the full-length award winning musical, Pockets, sung by our darling Molly.

Plug:  If you wanna check it out, Pockets will be preformed LIVE in New York City in December 2019.  I will be there for sure!

Furry weekend, I couldn’t have been happier.  Everyone I love, having fun, with an insane  backdrop.  In 2019, we were prepared for Anthrocon.  Deeply prepared. Thank you to EVERYONE for bringing it.  In fact, next year, might we be up for a new challenge?? …

Furry week in Atlanta is supposed to be an absolute party…
May 7th – 11th 2020
The theme sounds amazing:  The Enchanted Forest

I did some research:  A hotel would cost $40 a night per person (depending on how many people come). Plus registation (which is the same as Anthrocon). And flights are bound to be reasonable…

Then there’s the Boston one, which is also supposed to be good.
February 20th -23rd  2020
Theme: The Roaring 20’s

Back to our natural habitat.

Anyway, an octopus can fant-fur-size.
Love,
‘mi

An excerpt from a text I sent during Anthrocon:
“I don’t want to type out what a good time we are having ….but you can assume it’s fantastic” — Eel-ated.  

In June, I was elevated; food, time spent with people around me…
Here’s some evidence:

Elevated open-faced sandwich with a side salad.

Shrimp tacos. Level: Elevated!

Peach pork with a little side of ELEVATION

Elevatoes– elevated tomatoes.

All of the above was inspired when Victoria sent me my very first Blue Apron Box… I fell in love!  And, as you can see, it also elevated my food photography.  I won’t add this many food photos to every blog from now on, I promise.  

During June, I also reaffirmed a belief long held by Katie Barbaro:  Eating out of a bowl is BY FAR the coziest way to eat.

————-

June was a great month because a show I love, The Handmaid’s Tale, picked back up (fitting, since the main character’s name is June) and also, unrelated, because Bel and I threw a Pride Party at the Dream Flat!  JUNE IS PRIDE MONTH!!!! WE LOVE PRIDE MONTH!!! IT SHOULD BE PRIDE YEAR!!!  PRIDE FOREVER!! (and yes, before you ask, we’re working on a Pride Party blog post )

Colour bones

On Friday, Bel and I got dressed up and painted the town (well, just 5801, aka the best bar) before her show.  We saw lots of friends and brought bonus stickers to gem anyone who wanted ‘em.  It was a wild pre-show night that included sneaking into a private area for free things, trying on a hard-shelled furry mask, and a police officer who encouraged us to take everything to go.  Wahoo!  HAPPY PRIDE!

Purple hair for pride is #elevated

After that, Bel’s show – hilarious —  and the next day was our Pride or die party.  Super successful!

On Sunday morning, Helen, Victoria, and I walked downtown to the Arcade Comedy Theatre to march in the Pride Parade where we grabbed blue t-shirts and, close to the start, ran into our saviors, Emily and Laura.  While we were standing there, chatting to our friends, a man I didn’t recognize came up to me in a sneaky way.  I was suspicious but it ended up being no worries because he was only after past-friendship!  He pointed to his wife, Ali, reminded me of how I knew them both, and I walked over to meet their three children and to have a bit of a catch up.  I couldn’t believe they recognized me.  I was very flattered and pointed out my best friends before we had to walk away and find our place with the Arcade team.  Unbelievably, Eva, of HP house cup fame, was singing beautifually behind us during the march.

Pride & Joy

A celebration!

The three musketeers ducked into fl. 2 because we needed to cool down.  And, truth be told, we also wanted to drink champagne.  That afternoon, Bel and I continued to walk around, appreciated Pittsburgh’s new Pride layout, and watched a drag show.

Speaking of shows …..

This stud.

There was the one at Apis Brewery where both Col AND Helen preformed #mydreamteam and Andrew also stopped by to meet us (how fun!). 

Also, June was the month where Collin…..

Collin watching Collin.

…headlined at The Improv!!!  I’ll say it again. Collin had a headlining performance at The Improv!!!!!  It was a sold-out show!!!! He’s very impressive 🙂 My family drove in from FL, along with Andy & Baker from Ohio, and Brit from another zip code.  Emily and Laura came, too. We all went out to dinner at PF Changs. Emily, Laura and I ordered for everyone before 6pm so that we could get the good deals and winked at the waiter to “keep cool”.

We all arrived at The Improv in high spirits, and grabbed seats , front and center.  Collin invited me to pop into the green room for a pre-show, green room kiss, making me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Happy to be here.

The Improv made a special menu featuring Collin-themed drinks and I wanted to try them all.  The show could have been twice as long and I still don’t think I would have gotten enough.  It was incredible!!!!  And the crowd gave Collin a STANDING OVATION!  He deserved it. 

After show hang.

Improvisation photo station

Thrilling!

That night, we booked a room in a hotel that offered us a free cookie.  I ate chips on the floor before bed, wore sunglasses to breakfast, and asked Collin to carry milk in a bowl up an elevator for “later”.

The next day, Col had another show — so awesome! — this time at the DVE local stage comedy festival.  We found some quality time before the show, just he and I, at a fancy dinner, which was not delicious but was very fun.  As we sat down, we heard this quote that made no sense: “Better early than never, as they say.”

Deciding what bad food to order

After the DVE show — where Collin did so well — there was an after-show hang with Billy Gardell (!) who’s just as nice as his reputation makes him out to be.

Pirate to the left of me, joker to the…farthest left of me.

——————-

Another show… This time in the form of a podcast!  Col and I had the honor of being on the Ya Jagoff podcast together.  He was on to promote his aforementioned, sold-out gig at The Improv and I was invited on to talk about travel.  It was really entertaining.

Pictured: John and Rachel  Not pictured: Me or Collin

The laughter in June wasn’t confined to comedy shows or podcasts.  I shared laughs with my parents and aunts in FL, where we hand painted pint glasses to raise money for the library and made homemade avocado ice cream for dessert.

New boat; new captain

Sisters ❤

Sleeping quarters at the lake house.

At some point in June (or maybe this is just when I started to process it), I got some news that both elevated and deflated me at the same time.  Helen and Victoria announced that they were moving in together (CONGRATS!!), but that they were moving across the country to Seattle (CONGRATS BUT ALSO CUE THE TEARS).  I was (and am) really happy for them, but it was very bittersweet.  I love Helen, I love living in the same city as her, and I love our Dream Flat.  But, in good news, Helen and I appreciated our time — you could say it was elevated — once we realized the finite nature of our summer.

And, of course, since Victoria and Helen were leaving, they had a going away party which was organized by the famous Kate — who I was so excited to meet.  Little did I know I would be the one getting a KATIE BARBARO-SIZED SURPRISE.  On the day of the party, Helen texted me to ask if I could bring, in my car, some wine bottles that someone was dropping off at the house. “Of course!” I responded. So when the doorbell buzzed, I ran downstairs to open the door and…..this is what happened.

If you didn’t watch the video, here’s the Cliff Notes version: It is a video of what genuine shock looks like.  Katie Barbaro, who had been traveling internationally for 9 months, WAS AT MY DOOR.  I was in pure shock.  Absolute, total shock.  The most surprised that I have ever been in my entire life.  I literally don’t know if I’ll ever be that surprised again. In this video, you’ll see me find out that Helen knew (WHAT.  “Helen knew?!”) and that Katie was going to stay for the furries.  SHOCK, SHOCK, ABSOLUTE AND TOTAL SHOCK.

20 minutes later, still in shock, we pulled up to Magarac, where the gorgeous, sweet going-away party was being held.  Victoria’s besties, Kate and Dana, threw a wonderful event at a gorgeous venue with delicious food, wonderful people, and genuine warmth.  I feel so grateful to Black Radish for all the love and attention to detail they lavished on our shared best friends, thank you!

SURPRISEE!!!!!

Leave a message after the bee(r)p.

At the going away party, I got to see Martin (yay!) and he suggested that after Bel leaves, Katie B. should move into the Dream Flat…. GENIUS IDEA.  Fingers crossed that his idea comes to fruition!

That night, after reeling from excitement, and finally getting over some of the mouth-agape shock, Katie, Col and I went to Kendyll and Mike’s to play some games (including charades). Kendyll’s friend Kheng, was (according to Katie and I) the MVP and, no surprise here, the girls team won.
———
June was a whirlwind of excitement and changes.  Here are some more memor-Junes:

• Fathers Day at Findley Lake, my dad hit publish on his first ‘my blog post’ — and is now sipping on coffee from around the world.
• Enjoying the process of planning a 3-month anniversary dinner.  Farm to table. Vegetarian. Unique menu item. But then deciding that lacked pizazz and went with Jewish. Good lighting. And you can bring a dog.
• Erin Tobin and that extra long scooter ride ❤
• Sleepy goose. Quack quonk
• Words with friends
• Playing tennis with an evenly matched opponent named Doug.
• Our first 24-hour day in Pittsburgh; commemorated by pouring water, very dangerously, into each others’ mouths.
• Nailing the world premiere video of You Need to Calm Down because “We have our pulse on pop culture.”
• Helen and I thinking we’re the same person due to our #SharedMemories: “I took Improv with Walt!” “Wait. Did you?! I took improv with Walt.” “Oh, that’s right. You did.” 
• Helen’s first time headlining at Arcade!
• Victoria’s drink dysmorphia at Bar Louie after a fantastic ‘Most Wanted’ showcase
• A picnic I planned (and then loved) of ribs, outdoors, and a scooter ride
• The roast of Jon Snow (featuring Drogon, Jamie Lanister, and others)
• This conversation about hard lessons: “I want to play with my ball, that’s my ball.”  “Well, I know you love your ball but other people can play with your ball, too.”
• Feelin’ cute:

Commemorated with a selfie.

• Multiple, cozy nights of Blue Apron, Handmaid’s Tale, and love in the Dreamflat

Couldn’t get any cozier.

• Lunch with Emily & Laura at Federal Galley followed by dinner with Emily, Laura, Julie, and Charlie
  

This last photo will be of a real-fur named Charlie, in anticipation for the **next blog, which is Anthrocon 2019!!!!!

**Next is subjective.  I write these in whatever order I want.

Sweet Charlie who did not bite my finger

El-June-vated,
‘mi

In honor of one of my favorite things in the world being less than 10 days away….
This is a (fun) parody of a poem by the former Slam Poetry World Champion, Harry Baker.

Anthrocon (aka, the furries)

Prelude:  I’ve spent most of my young life trying to fit in because at school I was told I was a big eared, lanky girl who would never get a boyfriend.  Teachers can be cruel.  I was also told that I was creative, intelligent, thoughtful, kind, and brilliant.  Thanks mom.  But what if we were made to stand out?  What if we were made to escape the rat race?  I’m going down that rabbit hole.  This playful poem is for my “people”.

As I refur you to the animal kingdom
We’ll just puff puff pass like a dragon’s own wingdom

I’m a furryyyy roaming canine
Who just signed on to wolf it down
Pittsburgh is my hometown

Furisky is my fur name
EEL-ated is my fur name
I prefer things when they’re off the chain

Feel the power
touch your howl
It’s not complex
read the syntax

At Anthrocon I never quite know what to expect
But every year has been the best yet
So on your mark get set
GULP

Try to swallow this down your esophagus
I’m an optimist, rhinoceros, with a hypothesis
A cat with a dog tail ain’t preposterous

A.D.D. has never been a con.  What’s the con? Anthrocon. Imagicon.  This is context.
Here’s two cents.  I get the sense that it’s all nonsense

Having a cow!? Cat got your tongue??
Hold your horses — we’ve heard how they’re hung

In a squeaky accent you can say anything
and it’s difficult to sound menacing

(squeaky accent) I’m not pro life, I’m fur life!
Like that owl amongst a rodent pack
who left without a single snack

Personify.  Person imma fly.  Imma fly fly outta here on the buzz of my fursona
Get so high yinz think that I’m a stona

Metaphorically creeping
and lyrically speaking
Our birds and our bees are real birds and real bees
who know how to please
while you’re on your knees
I’ll climb on your back
Where are all my Tauras’ at?!!

Some fursuiters are naked underneath.
Now imagine the fun that we’re having and then adding the feeling of fleece

Life is an expression
not a depression
and there ain’t no reason the furries shouldn’t be kickin’
and licken’
and sticken’ their noses in all kinds of fun

My giraffe taught me the gift of not fitting in
So in a way, these things I say, are an embodiment of him

My snake taught me it might take awhile for folks to see your hidden worth
So in a way, these things I say, are a reflection of her

We need less teasing, less telly, less CSI
More jungle, more wagging, more give it a try

Pile meta facts with questionable reality as perception starts to teeple
It’s us animals who stand around and pretend to act like people.

(Editors note: This post is a requisite 3 months behind.)

You know how some people celebrate their birthdays for a full week? I’m not that extra, but, I have to admit, this year I was spoiled by the people around me ❤  

It started on Saturday, with Bel, and some pre-birthday cardio at the gym (thank goodness for that exercise, you’ll see what I mean) followed by our favorite gorgeous scooter ride through the park.  Afterwards, we spent time at the Dream Flat drafting up a super fun furry email and making a delicious Blue Apron pizza before going on (yet another) fun scooter ride. Later, I dropped Helen off downtown at her show. 

When I picked her up, we had a hiccup on the scooter and decided to call it a night before midnight.  But, the fun wasn’t over because when the clock actually struck 12 – on my legitimate birthday – I was privy to a private, hilarious, 7 minute standup show from Collin about Budweiser and the dentist.  And then he and I got to play one of our favorite games: brush each other’s teeth before bed.

The next morning (Sunday funday) was a day of lasts and firsts. It was my last day taking my live-typhoid pill (I’m coming for you, Ethiopia!), but more importantly, it was my first day of being 32.  And I was gifted one of Helen’s jokes for a year (thank you!).  32: “The age we dream of being, am I right, ladies?”

At 8:30am, Emily and Laura brought the party over with flowers and champagne. I opened my two adorable cards (thank you girls!), and we ate some cookies for breakfast because we’re all grown-ups.  Luckily, the cookies gave us the energy we needed to (literally) run to the aviary so we could make the very first bus of the day on our hop-on-hop-off tour at 9:46am.  With a little bit of birthday luck and a boomerang of Old Town Road, we made it on time.

Humans have 32 teeth so we were smiling like this all day to celebrate

It was a gorgeous day!  We had a fantastic bus (Francis), tour guide (Heather), and driver (Ken), who we found out immediately (because of his accent) was from the same suburb in Ireland that Helen’s mom is from. Cool! We took a seat on the top and waited, excitedly, for our tour to start.

There were 21 total stops on this tour, but we weren’t going to stop at all of them. I was going to choose wisely! And thus, we didn’t get off at the first stop, the Warhol museum. That would have been crazy! Getting off right away?! We would never make any progress! But then we got to second spot — The Heinz History museum. Intriguing. None of us had ever been. “Should we stop?!” I turned and asked. “This is like being on a road trip with you. We’ve only just started”, laughed Helen. But, because the birthday girl was the designated chooser and this particular birthday girl subscribes to the notion that “the fun is in the stopping”, we got off at the Heinz History museum, “stop number two, please”.

Next stop: Pittsburgh!

The museum was AMAZING! None of us could believe we hadn’t been in there before. It’s a Smithsonian and it was so interesting and well done.  It was over an hour before we realized that we hadn’t even gotten to the second floor (there are 6 floors total). Helen, who was about to be moving to Seattle, was inspired by our surroundings and said “Is it called Heinzsight when you look back on how great Pittsburgh is?”

At one point, while perusing the exhibits, I’d lost my notebook. I calmly said, “I’m not concerned, but I think I lost my notebook,” to which Helen responded: “I am [concerned]” but as I turned around in a circle, she pointed down to my notebook, which was resting snuggly under my arm. Haha, whoops.

On that first floor, we learned a lot about the Vietnam War and, randomly, Marvin Gaye.

The headsets that were mistakenly took for recreations of Agent Orange wands…awkward.

An interesting story: Marvin Gaye’s brother, Frankie, fought in the war and would hear his brother’s pop songs on the radio. When Frankie got back, he told Marvin all about the war and what it was like to be a black man in the trenches. Marvin used those experiences in his songs, and that’s when his music started getting more depth; it was a reflection of what his brother, Frankie, had relayed to him.

After over an hour (the first floor was essentially a stop within a stop), we decided to go up a level since there was still so much else to see. We learned, for example, the origin of the word “Nickelodeon”– it’s a mix of nickel (5 cents) + oideion (Greek word for theater).

Beyond language lessons (and other lessons), we also spent time in a lot of interactive exhibits. And the more we learned, the more questions we had. For example, at one point Emily turned to me and Laura and asked, “How long has mortuary science been using formaldehyde to preserve dead bodies?” We waited for the answer because we had no idea. Turns out, she didn’t either. Instead, she answered her own question with, “That’s where our day has taken us…Thinking about that.”

At noon, we were only on the 3rd floor with still a BUNCH more to see. Bel had turned to me and whispered, “If there’s one thing we can skip, it’s the sports section.” But then, as soon as we turned the corner into the sports section, Emily said, “Oh! Here’s the best part!” And Helen and I laughed to ourselves. We went in and it was true, we would have missed out on a lot of fun.  Like. we wouldn’t have been able to see Emily Athleteon pull a hat trick and sink three footballs in.a.row. Ink-credible!

Hut Hut, Heinz!

Moments before Laura scored a goal on herself.

It had been three hours in the Heinz museum and we still had so much left to explore (which is a great excuse to go back) but we had to leave.  It was time for us to get back on our tour bus.

On the way out, we exited via a slide. Emily was so eager that she bumped her head before going down and said she “felt betrayed.” The slide was tight and small, and it was amazing to stretch our bodies as we came out the other side. Laura went down last but a bunch of little kids cut her line just before it was her turn so we all patiently waited for her to arrive.

But while we didn’t get to see the whole museum, we were able to weasel our way into getting a prize by running up the stairs and getting a stamp on each floor. Our prize was a pickle pin– a pinkle. And we each got one before we headed back outside to meet the bus. We’d just spent so much time indoors that we’d forgotten what a gorgeous day it was outside!

Luckily, we had the same guide (Heather, yay!) and made some progress (as far as more stops went) on the bus. The learning didn’t end at the museum, either. We learned about what was happening to the strip district (total reconstruction), and then, it was most definitely time to stop again but first we got to lean over and touch the roof of the Roosevelt building on Penn! It was so cool to touch a part of Pittsburgh that so few have the opportunity to.

We chose our second stop to be in a part of downtown that none of us were too familiar with.  We went for a walk to see the Union Tower building (which we had just heard had been renovated), and admired its beautiful architecture. Not to mention the gorgeous orchids! They were stunning and I muckled them with my eyes.  They were safe.  Not too long after we entered the Union Tower a security guard came over and asked if we worked there. We obviously didn’t, and she told us the building was closed.

So we left and walked some more. The four of us found a new restaurant called Wolfies. We loved the furry title. And our waitress, Carrie, was so nice and extremely helpful. Plus, there was great music playing at Wolfies, for those in the group that were excited about that sort of thing 🙂 Food wise, I always want nothing more than people I love loving something too, so we all ordered food that we could share including buffalo jackfruit dip. [Obviously we over-ordered, but Saint Carrie packaged food for us to go (some if it before it even reached our table). We also ordered coffees, that she graciously let us grab to-go, while we, once again, ran to our bus.]

WHAT A FUN DAY!!!!

This time, we hopped on and had a new tour guide (Sarah) and a new driver (Rich). I didn’t catch the bus’s name. Honestly, we didn’t like Sarah as much as Heather, but the tour was still great. We all loved being on the bus– it gave us scooter vibes except taller, more secure and very safe. PLUS we were getting a new perspective on our city, which was fantastic.  Helen, Emily, Laura and I were all having the best time. We had one more stop — to pick-up some much needed water bottles — before completing our Pittsburgh tour.

Laughs-burgh

At 4pm, we all got back to the aviary a little sunburnt, a little tired, a little dehydrated but OH SO READY for the second part of the day with….

COLLIN AND VICTORIA!

The two of them set up an Iron Chef layout…they had brought ingredients (and bonus cooking supplies) to the Dreamflat to put together an amazing, multi-course meal.  But, PLOT TWIST (but actually not really because this is how Iron Chef works), Helen and I got to go to the grocery store to pick out $32 worth of surprise ingredients that Collin and Victoria had to include in their dishes.

So, while Helen and I were hopping on and hopping off, Victoria and Collin made an  hors d’oeuvre: black olives, fresh pesto, BURRATA (my newly discovered. favorite cheese) and roasted chickpeas that tasted like popcorn. All served with an absolutely stunning bouquet of red roses ❤ 

Knocking on heaven’s door.

Helen and I went on a Giant Eagle run with our $32 budget and brought back:
a “hottie mix” (spicy peppers)
2 mangoes
grapes
broccoli
asparagus
guacamole
a pasta shape I’ve never tried before
ricotta
portobello mushrooms
whipped cream
and one (free) nectarine.

Our total was $32.48, less than .50 cents over our $32 birthday requirement!

For the second appetizer of the night (have you ever heard of such a thing?), the chefs made ricotta mango bread covered in hot pepper flakes. Delicious!

Spectacular foodtography feat. flowers by Emily+Laura and FRESH pasta feat. mushroom sauce and a dollop of ricotta. #drool

Veggies decorated with a homemade balsamic reduction. 

Next up, one of my favorite dishes of the night!  Pasta in a shape that I’d never tried before.  The chefs cooked it in water and then put it in a frying pan, with the “hottie mix”, to make it crunchy.  It was hot and crunchy, indeed! So Collin and Victoria cooled it down with guacamole (because guacamole can be a pasta topper) and it was delicious and SO fun to eat. When it was time to re-heat the left overs, this was one of the first things I grabbed.

Guasta… Guac+pasta

On Iron Chef, there is one winner.  But on my birthday…We were ALL winners.  Seriously!  The food was exceptional.  The company was sublime.  And then, the chefs CLEANED THE KITCHEN!!  Winner winner, so much food left over from dinner. I was a happy birthday girl.

The four of us retired to the living room/porch in order to relax and digest.  We debriefed about all the amazing food we just ate, brainstormed how to get Victoria’s key back to her house without her leaving, and filled the Brita more than it’s ever been filled in its life.

Eventually, albeit still full, it was time for dessert.  Collin and Victoria had made a watermelon cake decorated with grapes, a (free) nectarine, and totally smothered in whipped cream. They had successfully completed their Iron Chef challenge!

The birthday glow.

I had a DELICIOUS!, fun, spectacular day AND night, which only got better when Helen and Victoria gave me their Pittsburgh themed present — which I adore, thank you!! I felt special and taken care of all day; it was an absolutely fantastic birthday with people that I love.

The next morning, Victoria and Helen had an early flight to Mexico and Collin and I got to spend one more full day celebrating my 32nd. Col gave me a gorgeous necklace and, because he told me he had something planned, I asked him when the next part of our birth-date would start. Collin responded, “Anytime, cus it’s already here.” *mic drop
I was incredulous. What were we going to do??

The two of us went downstairs (at, like, noon, ’cause we weren’t hungry after the Iron Chef) and continued with the food theme (because obviously).  Col had brought us Matzah ball soup, to make together.  I’d never made actual Matzah balls before, and neither had Collin so it was a really fun first-time activity.

He’s my Matzah, Matzah man.

Col and I lounged the rest of the day.  We did all the things we love.  Went for a walk.  Watched our show together.  Played a game of Dutch Blitz.  Responded to phone messages.  It was perfect. And if all of this wasn’t enough (it was!) my other best friends had sent me some sweet birthday vibes too.  Molly and I chatted; she had had some fun alone time on my birthday, along with seeing a few Fringe plays. Patrick, hilariously, sent a lone link to an Ethiopian coup, with no further details, and Katie left an adorable video voice mail.  I felt SO. MUCH. LOVE. all. day. long.

That evening, after getting help with cocoa butter application (which was such an unexpected delight), Col and I went on our dinner date. But not just any dinner date.  Cols idea was that we were going to set a timer for 32 minutes and whenever it went off, wherever we ended up, that was where we were going to stop to eat. EXHILARATING! As the birthday girl, I got to dictate the entire drive, deciding which direction we were starting out, if (and when) we were going to turn right, turn left, stay straight, etc. Col was going to steer wherever I told him and, this won’t come as a surprise, we had such a fun drive.

A game AND a date with this gorgeous man?! Happy birthday to ‘mi.

We ended up driving over our allotted time by 1 minute and 46 seconds but I’ll blame the rain storm that happened on our drive.  We found ourselves at Juniper Grill, a place in a strip mall that neither of us had heard of but that had great reviews.   We never would have tried to eat here without this game. On entry, the lighting wasn’t great, it was like a spotlight on our table, but that was about the only thing that wasn’t tip-top about our experience.  The food was phenomenal and the service was even better (big thanks to Kathy, our waitress). I started with the martini I’d been dreaming about, and fresh corn bread that tasted like cake. Col and I then shared some shrimp flat bread and ahi tuna. Again, this birthday and the spectacular food!  I switched to a mojito and Col stuck with the old fashioned because he’s old fashioned and wonderful like that.  For dessert, we shared (free) ice cream with a candle and a chocolate shell. It was blissful.

About to make a wish that has already come true ❤

After dinner, Col and headed back to the house to play some (more) games (like cards) before I fell asleep hours before I meant to.  This was SUCH a great birthday.  My mom must be right, everyone in heaven is in their thirties.

Here’s to 32 tasting pretty sweet. And savory,
‘mi

The month of May had me feeling amorous ❤

Like this view: Giving me love, despite the grey skies.

For this post, there are *8 categories of love. 
*Editors Note:  Eight is arbitrary.   Or, arb-eight-trary. 

1. Friendship Love:

Matching energy

In May, I was asked to be interviewed on stage about travel and, for those of you who know me (which you probably do because you’re reading my blog), you’ll know that I have stage fright.  I don’t like the attention.  I said yes, despite this, both because they were friends of mine and because I was flattered.  However, when the week finally arrived…I was freaking out. Helen had also been asked, by the same friends, on the same show, to come and do a little standup.  She was going to close out the night. Spoilers: She crushed!

Bel and I had not been on a show together (because, duh, I don’t perform comedy) since our Improv 101 class show.  This was an exciting night! Officially, we got to hangout out together in the green room, talk to the other performers, and relish the experience…right up until the time I had to go on stage. Gulp.

Luckily, Helen, (aka my best friend), came on stage with me. (THANK YOU, HELEN).  We had been planning to do this since I had been asked to come on the show and luckily, the hosts had said that it would be fine.

Moral (and actual) support.

Bel acted as my initial mouthpiece and stepped in whenever I became overwhelmed. She rubbed my back, reminded me of the stories I was going to tell, and provided invaluable support.  She made the whole experience fun(ish) from start to finish.  And then — I got to return the favor. Kind of. She let me (and Sarah) sit on stage with her while she performed her killer set.  Bel and Bam, in bright lights! 

The after show hang

———-

2. All sorts of other shows, Love.

A magic — I mean, a comedy show

A music show:

One Wednesday, I met an awesome group of friends at banjo night.  Emily had gotten wonderful people together; Laura, Trisha, Joe, Erin, Josh, myself, and of course Emily! It was such a fun night, hanging out with people I don’t get to see often enough.  We even got to take a private tour of the Elk’s Lounge — courtesy of Erin — and it was super cool. I’m (still) considering becoming a member.

#friendship and #memberperks

———————-

3. Exercise Love:

Sure, I worked out in the gym. #alwaystrying   But outside of that (I’m talking literally outside), I joined a kickball team with a fantastic name (see photo caption below).

Kickball team name: Pitch, please. 

The selfie below was taken on a particularly messy game day when Emily, Dan, and I made, in my opinion, the best possible use of some very muddy fields.

Not pictured: my car’s interior… but you can imagine

The photo below is from an actual mud run. Or rather, it was inflatable 5k that felt like a mud run, celebrating Laura’s birthday. So fun! (Happy birthday, Laura!)  And afterwords, we all went to Hitchhiker brewery to celebrate. Because what’s a birthday party without having to explain to everyone else why you showed up dirty. 

Running into 31 like…

—————

4. Dating Love:

I’m keeping (some of) the juicy details to myself, but I went on some pretty fantastic dates — including a surprise date that I got to plan.  It was May 24th, on a Friday night, by most metrics a classically romantic time. This evening was going to be no exception. I gave Collin, my date, some clues and a couple of chances to guess, but mostly, I chose to keep the suspense — and the mystery — alive:

This was exciting.

Question: What (and where) was our surprise date?!

A Bright Star surprise. 

Answer:  An (adorable) Northside date to the New Hazlett Theater to see a production of Bright Star (a musical that Steve Martin wrote with incredible bluegrass accompaniment).  

But wait, there’s more!  Would a romantic evening be complete without a walking picnic (especially when I knew my date was going to show up at my doorstep hungry)?!?  I could let you guess, but the answer is ‘nope’.

I packed us a walking picnic — aka rotisserie chicken in a bag — that we ate (the food, not the bag) on our way to the theater.  And when we arrived at New Hazlett my handsome, traditional, Friday night date chose the best seats in the house, and we fully enjoyed the phenomenal show.

Enjoying live theatre

I genuinely felt the full range of emotions at this play;  I laughed, I cried, I loved;  The experience was incredible — especially the music, the storyline, the location, and the company.  Col and I left LOVING LIFE and, great news, our date didn’t stop there.  Once the show was over, we walked back to the dreamflat to make, unbeknownst to us at the time, THE BEST CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES I’VE EVER EATEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!! Let me repeat that, the best chocolate chip cookies that I’ve ever eaten in my entire.life. “And I love cookies!”  Bonus: These incredible cookies are vegan (#dairyfreemonth) and OH MY GOD ARE THEY GOOD.

Cookies so good I (almost) forget it was dairy-free month.

——————-

And then, the great dates kept on coming.  Like the super fun double date we went on with Mike and Kendyll.  Mike and Kendyll are people whom I was destined to meet. These two gems are past-Sammi’s neighbors (circa 2012-2013). They live directly next door to where I used to live. (And when I lived there, they lived there too…except on the other side.) The universe has been trying to connect us for awhile 🙂 Thanks, universe! 

Double the fun

As the four of us hung out on a restaurant patio, Kendyll and I could not help but notice…and then laugh at…a guy wearing a neon bike helmet dining with his family.  Were there some hidden dangers we were unaware of?  A piano falling from the sky?  Mike, like a champ, changed the subject and told the waiter “we’ll take another round!” And, my night ended perfectly, with Col and I alone at the dreamflat, laughing hysterically until we cried… just the way I like it.

Collin and I continued to organize lots of at-home dates in May.  One that stood out, in particular, was this one (pictured below) that Col planned:  He greeted me at the door with a bouquet of stunning, fresh roses *happy sigh* ❤️  And then we went food shopping at the farmers market directly across the street #northsidepride Our dinner that night was prepared ONLY with the ingredients we had bought there. Local, home cooked, and made with love?!  You can see the results below.  Collin is fantastic in the kitchen!  And those roses that he had brought were absolutely gorgeous!  I wanted to make room for them on our table.  So, to save space, I put a single rose in my water glass, and that rose and I got to sip from the same, refreshing drink all evening long. Talk about a tall glass of water! 

Sooo much goodness in one picture; it’s like a Where is Waldo, except everything is Waldo

 
That evening, as I mentioned, it was *supposed* to be a date night at home. Except. Well, I had just found out that the Harry Potter house party that Helen and I had attended last year was happening again.  And Collin loves Harry Potter!  So, we went, for Collin.  We cleaned up our dinner, left the dreamflat and, we went to the Housecup party — Team Ravenclaw (Claw! Claw!) — for the rest of our very fun(ny) night.

We got there just as the party was getting started.  Games galore!  First up?  Flip cup (which I’m not good at) with spells.  Followed by a horcrux hunt.  And, well, this is where Col points to as the turning point in his night, a game of quidditch where we had to finish three bottles of wine before our seeker could be released.  Allison coached us. Collin was competitive. Jesca was a masterful seeker. AND RAVENCLAW WON (this game)!!! Claw! Chug! Claw!

Next game? Act out a scene.  Collin was on the microphone and he narrated the Ravenclaw’s skit.  While our scene was good, the most memorable part, for me, came when the Slytherians pointedly defended their choice to cut down an “invasive species of plant”.

“Can I say something?”, Col, not very quietly, leaned in and asked me.

“Uh, no, I don’t think so. What do you want to say?”

“I would tell them that they are DORKS!!”

“Yeah, don’t say that. It’s time to go.”

And with that, we left, missing the final game of the night  — trivia. We got into the car with mumbles from Collin…“We were supposed to stay in.  I thought you said we would have fun. Why did I drink like that?”  I did my best to comfort him and when we got home, into bed, I read a text from Allison…. Ravenclaw had won the Housecup this year!!!! WAHOO!!!  THIS WAS GREAT NEWS!!!!  I leaned over to share the glory with Col but, understandably, he’d already fallen asleep — I’m sure with dreams of the Harry Potter world flip (cupping) around in his head.

———

5. Family Love: 

I was happy to spend time with my parents this month as well.  It was on a road-trip to FL where I quantified exactly how much I like to stop and got to play the question game.  Then, when I arrived, I GOT TO TRY OUT A NEW VERSION OF SURF AND TURF: Lobster pizza with a side of steak. YUM!   After dinner, my family took us to see the sights; a mini road trip around the gorgeous lake.

When the steak hits your eye with a big cauliflower-pizza pie, that’s amore

My parents also came into Pittsburgh to visit me to see a slanted house.  Which was an interesting experience (and a no go) but the best part was driving around afterwards, looking at and appreciating all the other the cute houses that I didn’t have to own.  Then!  I took my parents to Hello Bistro (for their first time ever) where we enjoyed each others company and ate huge salads.

———

6. Bonus Love:

• A Thai dinner with Emily’s mom (Hi, Cindy!), sister, nephews, and girlfriend (love to you, too, Laura 🙂 ).

 Meeting mom!

Those precious nephews

• Being asked to write out a set list for my first time ever. It was AN HONOR!

• I got myself an official boyfriend, and my boyfriend got himself an official girlfriend ❤  (Looks like I really wanted to bury the lead back in May.  ’cause it’s August right now and I’d like to shout this fact WITH JOY!)

• Dinner at Fat Heads to meet some family with a hashtag I shouldn’t spread and a game I made up…but Taylor Swift was my inspo (Is it more disrespectful to wear Pappy’s glasses or to wear black?)

Fashion guru.

• BECAUSE I went to Fat Heads, I got to “woo” when, later at a comedy show, the audience was asked who’d been to Fat Heads most recently.

• …emphasis on that Club Cafe after-show hang, which was full of first time LOVE.

• I drank a bed beer after therapy, asked for matching dogs, and came to terms with the fact that I’m not good at transitions.

• Meeting the infamous Triplets at a fun Park House hang, with an exciting kamikaze, and a bonus, late night scooter ride.

• Spoiled by stuffed breakfast mushrooms.

• The friendly cabin for Memorial day!
• A happy encounter — Brian and Andrew at the Game of Thrones bar. 

• And, speaking of GoT, I know this post is all about love in May, but the one thing that there’s questionable love for was that GoT finale… it was “like finding out they had run out of PhDs after getting all the way through school.”

• Spending a belated Mother’s Day with my mum, in Pittsburgh, house hunting, and eating a delicious Caribbean lunch.

• Pride party planning commenced!

• “Have you ever ordered from Amazon?”

• A hang with Jodi (!) and Bel, eating pizza from the Northside.  That must have been on my dairy free cheat day because there’s no other explanation.

———————-

7. Photo Love:

Here are three photos of 3 things I’m grateful for:

A snuggly place to sleep.

Homemade breakfasts with arugula.

And sweet views out my car windshield, reminding me of best friendship.

———————-

8. Selfie Love:

Good morning, I love you!

‘mi

There are many, many things I love about Victoria and Helen, but their infinite list of lovable traits got even longer when they decided to arrange a trip to a cabin in Ligonier for Memorial Day weekend.  

Cabin Crew: Victoria, Helen, Betsy, Emily, Laura, and yours truly.

—————

We headed out for the weekend; cars brimming with drinks, snacks, food, and everything to share.  Big thanks to our cabin crew!  It was clear that we were all ready for an unforgettable weekend. 

I drove up with Emily, Laura, and Not your Father’s Root Beer.  The cabin didn’t have a house number– bold — but we had no trouble finding it because Victoria’s truck was already parked out front.

Gettin’ cozy.

Betsy manned that fire while the rest of us got to lounge 🔥

Talented Victoria’s spot-on painting of the view.

Stunning views, fresh air, outdoor fires, and deepening friendships weren’t the only beautiful parts of our Memorial Day weekend.   There was also the well-plated, delicious sustenance [which we took gorgeous pictures of (below) before devouring].

Definitely as good as it looks.

Breakfast of champions.

Bel and I decided to make the best chocolate chip cookies on earth, which you will see featured (and pictured) in another blog. This time, though, we had put the coconut oil in the fridge, making it difficult to mix the batter…but no matter! They turned out amazing — they always do. 

———-

In between the talking, the laughing, the cooking, and the eating, we played board games like What Do You Meme and Pandemic.  Emily and Laura decided to spice up (literally) our Pandemic-game by making a new rule where we had to eat a spicy peanut ghost pepper everytime we had an “outbreak.”  They were INCREDIBLY hot, as you can imagine.  Betsy, the genius, stayed within the new consumption rules but decided, instead of chewing the peanut, to swallow the ghost pepper peanut whole. What.an.innovator!  

—————

Our cabin bliss checklist:

✅ fantastic company

✅ scrumptious food

✅ rambunctious games

✅ hot-tubbing….

Yes, there was a hot-tub! We didn’t even let the rain stop us– in fact, it only enhanced our experience.  I would go so far as to say that hot-tubbing in the rain is my favourite type of hot-tubbing.  Another perk of hot-tubbing at this cabin?  Admiring Emily’s gorgeous bathing suits!  Next time, thanks to Amazon, Bel and I are going to match with her.

Of course, since we were at a cabin in the woods, it would’ve been very confusing to not actually go into the woods. And so, with our powdered drinks, we went for a walk 😃 ✅

Cabin Crew feet.

On the walk, we came across a house with absolutely no windows and then, farther down the road, a sign that clearly read “No Trespassing for Any Reason,” which Victoria and I thought would be fine to check out since we were trespassing for no reason (the devil’s in the details, your honor).

We took a lot of pictures along the way. Actually, Victoria took most of the pictures.  Including a serious where we got to smoosh our faces together. When she got to “3” we had to change our pose.

123  123  123  123  123snake

We all turned at the same time and we all saw what she was looking at — a snake that was the size of a house python — and then we all simultaneously SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF OUR LUNGS AND RAN!! 

!!!!!!!!!!

It would have been comical if we weren’t so genuinely scared.  #screamedandscattered

Post-python attack. And by python I mean snake, and by attack I just mean appearance.

Now, this next part isn’t chronological, or much of a transition…but I did save it for last because, wow.  The MOST gorgeous pond that I’ve ever laid eyes on:

Does it get any better than this?

This well-maintained pond had tadpoles (huge ones!) and frogs (cute ones!).  And it was here that we found out that Emily is really (really) good at catching frogs — which is a talent you wouldn’t find out about your friend unless you spent time together at a pond. 🐸 

Princess charming? Is that you?

Glimmering.

I’d like to reiterate that almost all of the photo credit goes to Victoria (thank you!). And, this is one of THE MOST GORGEOUS PONDS that I have ever laid eyes on.  Luckily for me, it also had a rope swing — so this was about to be the most gorgeous pond that I had ever plopped into… 

Getting a running start!

Walking on water– another talent you wouldn’t know your friends had!

Emily had a very memorable drop like a starfish ⭐️

But there is one thing about this pond that I didn’t tell you.  What you didn’t know, but what we did was that this was the neighbor’s pond and not public property.  Eek!  Jim, the owner, caught us red-handed (probably literally, since our hands were red from holding onto the rope) and came over to give us a scolding. He told us that he “wasn’t a bad guy”, but that it was a liability issue.  We understood!  And tried to express lots of gratitude for our afternoon spent in that idyllic pond.

After that, our cabin crew wasn’t quite done with water… So, we decided to spend some (more) time in the cabin hot tub where we brainstormed about how Jim might’ve told the story (about catching 5 girls swimming) to his wife.  We had fun musing about the possible iterations of Jim’s subsequent interactions.  

———-

Despite (or maybe because of) getting in just a teensy bit of trouble, our cabin crew left Ligonier closer than ever.  It was a fantastic Memorial Day Weekend.  Thanks to everyone for making it so special 💕

Cabin bliss,

‘mi

It was the first flight in the morning — the 5:40am flight.   Our alarms were set for very, very early.  Collin and Sammi’s first trip together!  Boston!  AHHHH!!!!!!! WE WERE SO EXCITED!  After some yawns, we got to the airport way before I thought it was necessary but since we were flying standby, it was crucial to ensure that we got seats next to each other. 

Happy in the morning!

Collin works for JetBlue, so he got to fly for free (incredible) and I got to use his (super duper) discounted buddy pass. Thank you, Collin! And thank you, JetBlue!  We took our seats and before the plane took off, “angel Don”, popped in to give us a wave.  I promptly closed my eyes and fell asleep with reassurances from Col that “in 50 minutes”(ish), we’d be in Boston.

Welcome to the east coast!

Speaking of free and discounted transportation, did you know that Boston has a FREE public bus-turned-subway into downtown straight from the airport?!  Col and I took it as we began our (very jam-packed) adventure.  First stop?  Breakfast.

Before the trip, I’d done research about where Col and I should go, taking into account our specific interests (like his love of diners).  We’d been going dairy-free for a bit, with one day off each week to get down and dairy #downanddairy.  Muls Diner, a classically Boston spot, was the perfect time to splurge.

They had fantastic Eggs Florentine and spectacular taste in ketchup.

True to every movie that I’ve ever seen featuring a Boston waitress serving food in a Boston diner, our waitress had a thick Boston accent, a heavy Boston attitude, and served up a stereotypically perfect cup of hot coffee.  Needless to say, Col and I left full and satisfied, to walk around Boston Harbor and to listen to a downloaded walking tour.

One of our stops had us looking at a building in the financial district.  It wasn’t until we got to the end of this particular audio chapter that we realized we’d been staring at the wrong building for the entire talk.  Whoops. So, Collin took matters into his own hands and playfully pointed out the importance of this mural, which was a stop on his (better) tour. 

“The According to Collin Travel Guide” says this is important.

The tour I had downloaded wasn’t great, but we had fun following it along the Boston Harbor anyway.

Boston Harbor: Home of America’s Best Tea Party. Some say the water is still caffeinated.

The last, official, stop of this particular walking tour was at a touristy market with loads of food.  Since Col and I were still full from Muls Diner, we gave it a miss and instead headed to The Green Dragon, a really cool old pub that Collin had picked out for a drink and a warmer.  Next door, literally, was Bell in Hand, which is advertised as “America’s oldest tavern” — we couldn’t help ourselves, we also popped in there to see what we could see.  

Ambitiously, he and I then set out to go on (yet) another walking tour this one called, The Freedom Trail.  And, since freedom was the name of the game, Col and I decided to just stop wherever we pleased as we made our way across town.  We walked for miles, learned about cool history, passed through Little Italy, saw the oldest publisher’s house which had been converted into a Chipotle (burrito bowls are the new books, folks), and visited Paul Revere’s grave. 

The final destination on ‘Paul Revere’s Midnight Ride’ (January 1735- May 1818)

Eventually, our hunger reached historic proportions, and so, in keeping with the ‘freedom’ theme, we got some pizza to celebrate our free-from-dairy-free day.

The Boston Pizza Party– a significantly less revolutionary but way more delicious event.

Belly’s full of pizza and brains full of historical facts that we could use to win Jeopardy, Col and I headed to our Airbnb to check in and rest.  It was 4pm — we’d been walking around with our backpacks on, awake and active for over 12 hours!  I needed a nap; knowing that when I woke up in 50 minutes…. we’d STILL be in Boston.  Plus, then it would be dinner time.  I was thrilled with the restaurant options and Col let me pick where we would go.

Map Code: Pink pins are must-sees that I’d researched prior to the trip.

I chose a place called Bergamot. I’d read lots of reviews that complimented both the food and the service and we were not disappointed on either front.  Col and I got to the restaurant around 8pm.  Even without a reservation, the hostess greeted us with gusto and gave us the best seat in the house (right next to the window).  The lighting was dim — just the way I like it.  While she got the table ready we sat on a couch and, while we waited, pretty much every employee at the restaurant came over to check on us, to make sure we were taken care of and that we didn’t need anything.  So attentive! When our spot was ready, the hostess sat us down at a table set for four.  When the hostess came back, she removed the extra table settings.  I apologized to her saying “there are only two of us”, and she told us that she had set out all of the place settings so that we could choose where to sit and not have her choose for us.  So thoughtful!  We were thoroughly impressed.  

Col and I were served complimentary freshly baked bread and fava bean butter.  We ordered lobster risotto, Brussel sprout salad, and a plate of ravioli to share.  The customer service was impeccable and so was the food.  Dinner at Bergamot was one of my favorite things we did in Boston.  Date night while we were already on a date… Was this a double date?

Incredible food. Incredible place. Incredible company. See you in 20 years!

I wanted to be awake and see live music, so we headed to Toad, albeit just for a second.  It was very loud (and I was very tired).  When our Uber driver dropped us off he said, “I rate you 5 stars, and I hope to be your driver again.”  Which I loved and immediately started to repeat.
Ultimately though, we went to bed.  And it was a good thing we did.  We couldn’t sleep in.  The people who lived above our Airbnb were up early making a ruckus, BUT, we were HAPPY TO BE AWAKE!!!  HAPPY TO SPEND THE DAY IN BOSTON!!!!!

For breakfast, Col and I were back to the dairy-free grind.  We got Acai bowls from a cafe called Nu and I even got to drink my water from a sustainable pasta straw.  

No surprise, these were delicious.

After eating our dairy-free delicacy, we called a Lyft and headed to Beacon Hill, the poshest part of town.  Col and I enjoyed the next part of our day holding hands, walking around, admiring the brick houses, the streetlamp, and the shops.  We went to the Botanical Gardens, played in the park, and saw a “Make a way for the Ducklings” installation.  We then walked across the street to THE place to be in Boston: 

Cheers, yinz!

The gangs all here.

Grabbing a beer with Norm.

We got to the bar right when it opened and saw the owner giving a TV interview.  Our friendly neighborhood bartender, Pearse, was great to chat with, especially with his thick and memorable accent.  We drank and cheersed to Cheers.  Col even got us matching hats as a memento, so fun!

For lunch, we had our hearts set on some dairy-free pizza.  Neither of us had ever heard of it before…so we ordered, to go, vegan pizza with VEGAN CHEESE, from Upper Crust.  We walked back to the Botanical Gardens for a picnic….and ate just a couple of bites before promptly deciding that while we were all about that dairy-free life we were definitely not all about vegan cheese.  It was so bad it almost ruined our day.  Almost.

We tried to forget what had just happened and walked through some more interesting parts of town, stopping for edamame, and visiting an exclusively Harry Potter shop (SO neat!) before heading to the “Mapparium” at the Mary Baker Eddy Library for the Betterment of Humanity, or what I like to call ‘The Library.’  Now, you might be wondering what a “Mapparium” is.  I certainly was.  I knew it had the word “map” in it, which I liked.  The “Mapparium” is a giant map at The Library which is made up of glass — it’s so big you can walk through it! I was v excited… that is until we actually got there and it was located in the Christian Science Monitor building.
What?
Col and I were both pretty confused, the propaganda was hard to ignore.  We were required to join a tour (and even though we were in the birthplace of the Revolution, we couldn’t claim our independence from the group).  We learned, on tour, that the Christian Science Monitor has won 7 Pulitzer prizes.  #themoreyouknow

After several minutes of listening to whatever we had to in order to gain entry…into the world we went!  Col and I entered the “Mapparium” and were suitably impressed.  Even though there were countries missing and a few of the boundaries weren’t accurate, it was really cool.  Since they’d made this map in the 1930’s, I was in a forgiving mood. After all, they didn’t have Google back then, we gotta be understanding.  Col and I walked around, admired the stained-glass world, and listened to the echoes. We weren’t allowed to take pictures inside, but, below, is the Christian Science Monitor-approved selfie we snapped.

World explorers.

After that, we got some delicious, dairy-free, Thai food in the air conditioning and enjoyed lots of noodles . To work off our huge meals, we walked to Fenway Park to see their community center, sit at a bar called Bleachers, and enjoy the views.  

I like to call this one ‘Fenway through the Fence’.

The next stop was “home”.  The Airbnb was perfect.  We relaxed, got changed, and talked about how badly we needed a coffee.  We were about to head to…. the Boston Handbell festival!!!  This only happens once a year and, this year, it was on one of the nights that Collin and I were in town!  It was 100% fate!!!!!  I reminded Collin that he loves live music, which he does. “I’m taking you somewhere that you’re going to love.”

Gotta hand (bell) it to them, they did a great job.

At Old South Church, Collin knew the first song that the handbell musicians played.  Yay! I knew he would love this festival!  Throughout the show I kept whispering, “Isn’t this the greatest? I know how much you love live music.” 

The festival was chill and relaxing but the two of us still needed a caffeine jolt.  Col and I left to go to Dunkin’ Donuts in order to grab a warm cup of joe. We took our coffees to go, got onto the subway (shout out to the orange line), and headed to Mr. Dooleys where I got some peach in my Jameson from Terry the Irish bartender.  Collin and I then lounged and relished (some more) live music — this time from Calm O’brien who played Irish songs including Molly Malone, a favorite. 

The coffee did the trick and Collin and I appreciated a late night in Boston, hung out for hours, until eventually heading back to our apartment.

—————-

The next morning, we got this good-looking grain bowl that I had been craving (see below).  

Energizing grain bowl is equal to or greater to energizing coffee.

I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!! I swore I could’ve run 6 miles.

However, ten minutes later, the grain bowl decided it didn’t love me back so Collin had to carry my bag.  We walked to Harvard Yard where I read us a walking tour out loud, learned about their library, and saw a statue of a guy who’s not who he says he is.

The imposter statue.

The Harvard Yard was our last stop in Boston, and, soon after, we headed to the airport where we hung out and lived our dairy-free life in the lounge.

A look of satisfaction.

Overall, the trip was a raging success.  Setting the tone for many more.  There were enough things that kept us moving and exploring… but we also went with the flow.  It was full of love, joy, play, serious talks, incredible food, and experiences to remember for a lifetime.

Long live Boston,
‘mi

April brought a lot of beautiful things like….

These gorgeous pink flowers

• Planning and embarking on a trip to Guatemala! (posts to come!)

Hiding a note in the Pittsburgh airport

Patrick’s birthday!!! ❤ ❤

Helen’s birthday!!! ❤ ❤

• …At Helen’s birthday party where I got to pet Victoria’s cat and micromanage some seating arrangements 🙂 — so it was really like I was the one getting the presents.

• “They call me Crash.”
• A visit to Findley Lake where I got to see my cousins Wendy and Paul! (and, at the local restaurant, briefly meet that weirdo.)

Photo credit: the beautiful Wendy

• THE RETURN OF GAME OF THRONES, which brought about the smiles below.  And then, spoilers, took away the smiles below.

Playdate

• A fun brunch (but not a delicious brunch) at Enix Brewery with April, Emily, and Laura.
• But then a stopover at the super cool Voodoo Brewery, plus VB shirts!
• An emotional breakdown after The Improv.
• Eating, with Matt (all the way from Australia!) and Col (a hometown favorite) in the Northside at, what the sign referred to as “the best chicken salad in town,” (it’s not) and, on a different day, getting to actually eat the best chicken salad in town (it is) back at my parents’ house.  

A party at my new friends Joe and Trisha’s with Emily, Erin Tobin, and April ❤

This VIEW outside of my bedroom! I love this season!

• A bad-beer power hour with Bella.

And lots of board game days ❤

….Which we were assured would be fun.

Peppered reassurances are as good as a money-back guarantee

The peppered reassurances were accurate — It was fun!

• Spicy, yummy soup delivered to me when I was sick.
• A Federal Galley date involving the question game.
• The Table celebrations edition was published!
• A(n annoying) closure of our 9th street bridge.
• A gorgeous dinner party for 5 hosted by my best friend, VB.
• Inspired by outdoors-y films, in particular a mother daughter movie, at the Banff Mountain Film Festival ❤

Great lightening in the Byam Theatre loo!

• Victoria Pinksburgh coming out for the year!!!!!  Huge shoutout to Laura who babysat, and by babysat I mean stored the little cutie. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Her maiden voyage.

Full bloom.

• A new tradition with Emily and Laura, we eat lunch together every week!

All this friendship is making us hungry. 

LUNCH WITH LAURA’S DOG CHARLIE (AND HELEN) – who also gets her name in caps because, honestly, it’s just as exciting

• April 12th: My and Victoria’s best show ever!!  Drinking champagne, celebrating, sitting next to the Wildys.
• April 19th.  At The Improv again.  Sitting next to Victoria.  Always glad to be there together! But this time wishing we had ordered our small drinks earlier.

Helen got to do a guest set on Ray’s show.

• MATT FROM AUSTRALIA COMING TO VISIT!! ! !!! !!!! !!! ! !! !  HOW EXCITING!!!!!  

   

  

  Forever friends.

   

• Going with Matt to Bingham Tavern to watch the Penguins game (FYI: I’m a fan now) and getting involved in trivia on accident, which, thanks to our bonus player, we ended up winning ON PURPOSE.
  
• And then, taking Matt to the Micro Diner for pancakes and listening to his accent while he spoke with Dana, our server, whose Yinzer accent (and openness!) served to remind me (thanks for the service, Dana!) how there are people in each corner of the world with a genuine eagerness to show off their hometown (#hometownpride)  — and to help someone from a different place realize why ….(whatever city they’re in)…. is so great. 

Battle of the accents, except not a battle because everyone wins.

I always love this time of year,
‘mi

Slightly delayed but no less hilarious and all the more detailed, here is the wonderful, final installment:

Patrick’s actual birthday continued with more festivities! We went on a long, winding road trip to Lanquin where we would spend the night in a gorgeous resort to wake up early and visit Semuc Champey. We rocked out to our new CDs on the drive, while watching out for speed bumps and stopping at every fruit stand. Unanimously, our favourite CD was a Spanish version of 60s Rock and Pop songs. There’s something so fun about hearing a familiar song in another language. I highly recommend checking out this Spanish version of “Under The Boardwalk”

We’d stop for fruit but there’s nowhere to park.

Semuc Champey, in Lanquin, was one of the few things we knew we were definitely doing in Guatemala at the beginning of our trip. In fact, it helped shape the rest of our journey. Because Semuc Champey was a 14 hour bus ride from Antigua, where our journey began, we decided to instead rent a car and make our way there slowly. Thankfully, the journey to Lanquin was just 3.5 hours from Biotopo del Quetzal. We knew it would be a bumpy, mountainous journey and were grateful to have the luxury of our own vehicle for the sake of our favourite frequent stopper. We knew we had to be in Lanquin before dark because our only plan for the evening was TO SEE BATS LEAVING A CAVE TO GO HUNTING FOR THE NIGHT. The bats, very punctually, depart their cave at 6 PM with ne’ery a timepiece to be seen. So after a relaxing birthday morning hike and taking our time leaving the Central Highlands, even Sammi was down to make as few stops as possible to get us there in good time. We did research on the drive #passengersjob to learn more about the history of Guatemala and to decide which hostel would be our home in Lanquin. It came down to two which sounded equally beautiful and fun. With two nights to spend in Lanquin, we thought “Why not spend a night in each?!”

Pics on-the-go = #passengersjob. Double the passengers, double the JOBS! I mean fun.

The long and winding road.

After winding up and down one-lane mountainside roads for hours, pulling over any time another car had to pass, we finally saw a clue that we had made it to Lanquin:

Nosotros tambien!

We opted to do a quick drive by of each of our two hostel choices to see which one felt like home for the night. But the first one proved to be impossible to find. After going miles down a bumpy, dirt road — terrified that we would get a flat tire — we opted to turn back for the other and spend two nights there. A choice that ended up being terrific. Not only did they have free parking for our truck, they also had views like this:

Home, Sweet Home

We were thrilled to be out of the truck and back in the world! We checked in and went to our room, where you could rent a fan for a few bucks. It was a must. More like HOTamala #amiright Excited to leave our truck tucked in for the night, we walked in to town and hopped a tuk tuk to take us straight to the bat caves! Upon arrival, we were asked if we wanted a guide to walk us through the caves. After much deliberation, we said yes. Edwin, a sweet 18 year old Guatemalan, was thrilled! He walked us to the caves and offered to take photos for us. He didn’t speak any English which was a fun challenge. #allearsondeck

Fun fact: The word “bat” in Spanish is “murciélago” which uses all of the vowels! It’s a great word to practice your vowels on when you’re learning Spanish.

Bonus fun fact: Unlike most languages, the vowels in Spanish always sound the same. So murciélago it up!

DI QUESO!

Edwin was an incredible tour guide. He offered to take us on a secret bonus tour down to touch the river at the bottom of the cave. He asked if we were adventurous and we said “Claro que si!” This cave was made of 5 massive “rooms.” If you’ve never been in a cave, it’s pretty standard to be shown different rock formations in the cave and told what animals they look like. It was fun brushing up on our Spanish animals. Spanimals, if you will. Edwin would point his flashlight on a rock and say “Tiburón!” We’d all look at each other and the rock and say “Ah, yes. A shark!” It’s classic cave entertainment. He took us to the top of the cave to where there used to be Mayan rituals. The rocks on the way to the top were slippery. Each step we took required all of our focus. “Is everyone being so careful with each step?” I asked. Sammi responded “Yes but we really need you to be. Especially.” I have a history of falling. Guat-a-fall it would have been. Edwin took us to the ritual site and launched into the historical significance. At the end of Edwin’s speech about the Mayans, Patrick turned to me: “Helen, can you translate that for us?” Unfortunately for our team, I had been zoned out thinking about going back down those cave steps the entire time.. I looked at Patrick and Sammi apologetically. “…..No.” We laughed. It was far too long of a speech to ask him to repeat so we nodded to him that we totally got it and headed back down, again with all of our focus. Upon seeing our sad display of coordination in the cave, we assumed Edwin had changed his mind about offering us a bonus adventure. We joked about how he only took us the easy way and we still struggled. When we got back to where we had entered, he asked us if we wanted to go down and touch the river. We couldn’t believe it. We asked, in Spanish, how hard it was. And he assured us that we would have no bother. We started climbing down the rocks to the bottom of the cave, and realized we had made a huge mistake. It was super challenging. Not as much for Patrick, who does climbing, nor as much for Sammi who works out. But I was convinced I was going to have to start a life as a cave-dweller. We made our way down the treacherous path to the river to the river, and by “path” I mean a series of massive, wet rocks that were not connected to each other where one could have easily plummeted to a stoney death. We made it down to the bottom and touched the freezing water where the river began. From the bottom, we realized getting back up would be the REAL challenge. Edwin said “Just bend your left knee up on this rock. Then reach up with your arms and PULL yourself upwards.” Translating correctly had never been so important. Edwin was highly overestimating my athletic abilities. If you do it wrong the first time, there is no do over. You fall into a rocky abyss. I was quite certain I would not be able to do it. “I guess I live here now.” I said, sadly, to Patrick and Bam. Edwin went first to do a demonstration. Patrick went next. He nailed it. It was my turn. I looked desperately at Bam. And like the best best friend of all time that she is, she made me a wee step out of nothing but her hands. All before she had to launch herself up. The terror of falling coupled with my best friend’s makeshift step, launched me up to freedom. I would have kissed the ground had it not undoubtedly been covered with bat guano. Sammi was last to bat (pun intended) and made it up with no problems! We made our way out of the cave just as the sun was about to set. Edwin gave us a pro tip on the way out of the cave: He told us to go wash our hand IMMEDIATELY and then pointed out where we should come back and sit for the best bat views. He said goodbye to us as we washed our hands (friction under water!) and made our way back to our spot. The views were incredible. Por ejemplo:

A river runs through it.

That protruding, shadowy rock to the right was where we set up bat camp.

“You’d hate to be a bat, Patrick. They do so much backtracking.” #batrick #battracking

Enter the cave scared, leave a batliever.

As we sat, anticipating the bats’ departure, we were nervous. Sitting at the opening of a cave at night is a bit spooky. A group of German tourists came (thanks, Edwin, for securing our terrific seats before the rush!) and their tour guide shined his flashlight at the cave walls and roof and they were COVERED IN BATS. Watching the bats leave the cave was one of the most magical moments of our lives. We sat there for hours, in awe, as we watched thousands of bats leave the cave for their nightly hunt. We didn’t realize how much we loved bats until we sat amongst them, in their home. Big thanks to bats for eating bugs. A true bat mitzvah! You could feel them flutter by as they just managed not to touch our faces with their bat skills (though one did brush Patrick’s ear). Eventually, the tourists gave up and left and it was just us and the bats!

There was a steady stream of bats for hours. Thousands of them. As the sun set completely, and with only two iPhone flashlights to get us out of the cave (reminder: Patrick did this trip sans phone), we decided it was time to go. Bats were still leaving the cave hundreds per minute. We kept stopping every few feet out of the cave to watch them exit from a new perspective. It was incredible. We made it back to the road and realized there were no tuk tuks this far from town, so we’d have to walk. A few minutes into our walk, a kind trucker stopped and asked if we wanted a ride. No one said anything, so I sent him away, misreading Patrick and Sammi’s thrilled silence from this surprise offer for discomfort. What a hilarious mix up. We started walking miles back to town as I apologized for the misunderstanding. But thankfully, a tuk tuk came along on its way to the gas station and filled up and tuk tuk us back! Yay! Saved by the tuk tuk. We got dropped off in town and saw our new favorite Comedor! If we hadn’t been all Comedored out, we’d have absolutely had a quick bite.

CAPTION: They tuk us for a ride

All tuk-ed in

That night, we sat by the river in our hostel’s bar/game/lounge area and reflected on what a great birthday it had been. Bats! Cloud forests! Quetzals! Road trips! Hostels! It was a magical day. It was hard to believe less than 24 hours before, we awoke to Mike at the door to sing Happy Birthday in Spanish. The next morning, we started the day early. It was time to take the truck back out to head to Semuc Champey! Once again, we were incredibly thankful to have our own vehicle. There were lots of ways to get around but none of them looked easy:

The original rideshare

When we arrived, we learned from the sign above that that Semuc Champey means “donde el río se esconde bajo la tierra” (where the river hides under the earth/stones) in the inidingous language Q’eqchi’. We were also told it translates to “slippery rocks over a river that runs underneath it” which is exactly on the nose. But it doesn’t sound as pretty in English. Semuc Champey is a must see. The Cahabón river passes underneath 300 meters of natural limestone, which forms a bridge. The limestone rocks fill up with fresh water, which gets warmed by the sun. It’s nature’s hot tub.

At the entrance, we were again asked if we wanted a tour guide. Coming off such an incredible experience with Edwin, we had no hesitation. “Absolutely!” This time, we got Charlie, a 14 year old boy. Charlie took us on a hike to see Semuc Champey from the top. The hike was quite hard. The first half of the hike was straight up many flights of stairs cut into the side of a mountain to get that sweet, sweet, view. We talked to Charlie about his life. We learned he went to school just one day a week. Sunday. Patrick asked him about his curriculum and was shocked. He teaches kids Charlie’s age in Seattle. Charlie went to school one day a week and worked the rest of the week to help provide money for his family, mostly by giving tourists a guided tour of Semuc Champey. Going straight up the mountain for the view was not a challenge for him. He does it multiple times a day. When we got to the top, we were gobsmacked by the Earth’s natural beauty.

CAPTION: Started at the bottom now we’re here.

Charlie had been a bit snippy to us on the hike up. Probably because we were taking longer than we should have (100% uphill hike, Charlie! Give a girl a minute!) But at the top, he very kindly asked if we wanted a group photo and then climbed up even higher to get the perfect shot for us. And with that, he won our hearts.

Photo cred: Charlie

It was hot. Even with the shade from the trees on the hike up, it was uncomfortably hot. We were so excited to get back down to swim in those sweet pools on those “slippery rocks.” On the way down, we could hear howler monkeys in the trees. We caught a glimpse of those cute howler monkeys including a baby howler monkey! (Which would later inspire us to watch this cute monkey video over and over: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/tv/a8942592/planet-earth-ii-spider-monkey-clip/ What a good dad!)

Do you see what I see?

Curious about wild monkeys and the threats they faced, we asked Charlie what, if anything, preys on a monkey. He said “nothing.” We asked what kills monkeys. He told us that they don’t die. We’re pretty sure they’re not immortal but Charlie knew these lands best. After some downhill discussion about possible predators of monkeys, we landed on the unfortunate conclusion that it’s humans. Climate change and deforestation. Let’s get it together, humans. Our theory was confirmed by signs like this:

Semuc Champey is in danger from human behaviour!

Buena vista

Having a wee foREST.

At the bottom, we had a team huddle. These rocks are slippery. Famously slippery. Pennsylvania isn’t the only one with a famous Slippery Rock. Everyone (especially Helen) be extra sure of your footing. We do not want a “Nicarockgua” situation. We removed some layers to reveal our swimwear, and, since we had forgotten to bring a lock to use the lockers provided, Charlie advised us to leave our stuff under our clothes while we went for a dip. We were nervous but we trusted him. This would have been the perfect time for a sting operation. Thankfully, Charlie was right. It was fine. We walked out on the incredibly slippery rocks and got into the water. The sun had warmed it to the perfect temperature. We floated, chatted, and treaded water. Once again we spent hours. Charlie took us down from pool to pool. Getting to each pool was a journey. Some of them you jumped in (again, making sure you were not at risk of slipping) and some of them had natural waterslides. It was incredible. Charlie was doing flips into the pools and going up and down the natural water slides. He was a pro. Eventually, he brought us all the way to the bottom pool and took us underneath the rocks! We were suddenly spelunking with just our heads above the water. Charlie said it’ll take 5 seconds under water to swim down and get out. Based on the athleticism Charlie had shown on our hike and his proficiency in the pool, I calculated 5 seconds for him was going to be about 15-20 seconds for me and got claustrophobic and exited back the way we came.

Slippery when wet AKA always.

After a full morning and afternoon of enjoying the natural wonders of Semuc Champey, we decided to spend the rest of the day swimming in the lake at our hostel and have a fun night in. Down time turned to up time turned back to down time?! Our only item on the calendar was watching whatever was happening live at the end of Taylor Swift’s Instagram countdown. We kept a careful eye on the countdown all night until what was apparently the debut of her video for “Me!” featuring Brandon Urie. What a fun surprise! It WAS new music, not a boutique store in Upstate New York. We needed more Swift music. Thanks, Taylor!

The hostel was full of young travelers speaking in many languages and accents from all over our planet. It was so inspirational. Some folks were passing through on a gap year, others were studying abroad in Guatemala or Costa Rica and had come to Lanquin for a weekend away. The river was gorgeous. It passed right by the hostel and came in to a cove, which had made a perfect swimming hole complete with a diving board. The water was FREEZING. After all, it was coming from our bat cave a few miles away. We sat at the edge of the river, with our feet dangling, until we got so hot we had to jump in. We took turns jumping off the diving board into the freezing water and made our way back to our spot where we would warm up in the sun in a few minutes. It was a perfect, watery day.

Crystal blue river water.

When the time came, we watched Taylor’s new video and discussed it in depth. We couldn’t wait for all of the Swifties to make a list of every Easter egg we definitely missed. We FaceTimed with Katie Barbaro and I managed to break my toe. You can’t take me anywhere. Even with a broken toe, it was the perfect day. We were sad our time in Guatemala was coming to an end. Any sadness would have been quelled by the knowledge that the next day, we’d get to repeatedly encounter some real life bandits.

The next morning, we packed up and started the long drive to see some Mayan ruins. However, the road was long and hard and eventually required a boat ride, so we abandoned the idea and turned back towards Antigua. We spent almost the entire day in the car, driving up and down winding mountain roads, listening to our Spanish music CDs, and debating if we should turn back. “How many more miles? Is it the paved road or the dirt road?” It was the dirt road every time. We drove for hours on dirt roads and finally experienced the BANDITS our Dutch friends had warned us about. Every so often, we passed down a one lane road and saw one or two men shoveling it with a piece of rope hung across the street to stop the passage of any vehicles. The first few times, it was quite scary. These men would make us wind down our windows and tell us (in Spanish) they had been fixing the roads in the hot sun and we needed to pay them 100 quetzal ($13) to pass through. We told them we didn’t have any money (though clearly, everything we had brought on the trip was in the car). Thankfully, our perfect truck had tinted windows in the back and it was the passengers job to make sure nothing valuable was visible. To the first set of bandits, we gave out 10Q and were grateful to be on our way. It was terrifying. “Pay them for fixing the roads?!” Sammi exclaimed, once we were free. “These are the worst roads I’ve ever been on! Nothing but potholes!”  The second time, we followed the advice of our Dutch friends and put a 5Q note on the dashboard and told them that was all we had. They took the 5Q and looked into the car for other things. Sammi wisely offered them up our least favourite bag of snacks #wrongshape, a bottle of water we had already been drinking, and our least favourite Spanish music CD. They took the deal and let us pass. We were coming across bandits every 30 minutes or so. We were out of small bills so we made a wee stop on the side of the road for change and more cheap snacks and water to give away. By the third time we were stopped by bandits, we pretended not to know any Spanish which was easy because we didn’t have to do too much pretending. We were super friendly and confused while trying to understand. We all panicked when we noticed one of the bandits eyeing up the birds. Our beautiful, matching birds from our first day in Antigua. The bandits again settled for a 5Q, a CD, and snacks and let us carry on our merry way. We put our birds safely out of sight until we were back on paved roads. At our last bandit encounter, we refused to give up any money. We told them we didn’t have anything and they wouldn’t let us pass. We waited with them for a while until a bus came behind us and they had to let us pass. Huzzah! Soon after, we were back to paved roads and our birds were flying free!

Matching birds + paved roads – bandits = happy driver!

We found a place to spend the night in a town called Coban and figured it would be fun to see a movie together in Guatemala. We looked up a cinema and upon arrival, realized it was in a massive mall. GuateMALLa, if you will.

A parking spot for storks!

It was incredible (and by incredible, I mean air conditioned). It was the perfect place to spend a cushy penultimate night in Guatemala. We got to the cinema hours before the movie and for some reason didn’t think to purchase tickets. We explored the mall, which included a GROCERY STORE and debated which snacks we should buy.  (PRO TIP: Grocery stories are always fascinating in other countries)

Not your Uncle Sam’s Pringles

Leche de cabra! Goat milk!

Sammi and I spent half an hour debating whether or not we should buy this goat milk caramel syrup knowing we’d have to check one of our bags to send it home. We opted not to because not having a checked bag when travelling internationally is the best. Looking back, I’m not even sure what the appeal was or what we would have done with goat milk caramel spread. Good choice, team! Sammi and Patrick were excited to finally try Guatemala’s raved about fast food chicken place, the KFC of Guatemala: Pollo Campero.

PRE MOVIE DINNER

We were so excited exploring, eating, and being air-conditioned — “I’m wearing sleeves for the first time all week!” — and we were ready to wrap up the night with a movie. Unfortunately, we didn’t buy our tickets when we first got to the mall and when we went back, it was sold out. Turns out those Avengers are popular.

Got tickets?

PRO TIP: Get your tickets BEFORE you burn hours waiting for the movie. With no movie to see, we headed back to our hotel rooms. There were no 3-person rooms, so Patrick had his own room and Sammi and I shared. It was fun to have a TV for the night as Sammi and I lived together with no TV in the dreamflat. Lots of channels offered baseball #americaspastime, and Sammi got me some ice for my old broken toe.

She takes such good care of me.

I was beside myself with excitement because episode 2 of the final season of Game of Thrones was on that night and we had the channel to watch it in our hotel! Move over, Avengers. I’d take Arya Stark over Tony Stark EVERY TIME.

GoT in Spanish. All ears on deck = 70% comprehension

Aww. Hometown shout out in English so I could understand 100% of it!

PRO TIP: You can’t flush the toilet paper.

The next morning, we had and savored our last traditional Guatemalan breakfast with coffee on the side.

Desayuno típico guatemalteco

Patrick and I ordered coffee with ours and we each were given a tiny jug of heated milk. Naturally caffeinated, Scrappy (Sammi) didn’t need any coffee. But she was not gonna let that not-free jug of milk go to waste.

We decided to spend our last night in Guatemala City to return the rental truck (and hope no one noticed the dent on the side). We knew we had to make it to Guatemala City before dark due to its sketchy reputation. The drive to Guatemala City was a few hours #alwaysbedriving but found bonus time to stop at any fruit stand that looked beautiful along the way. After all, this was our final day in Guatemala and therefore our last chance to have fresh mango. We go wild for fresh mango.

Buen provecho! #neverforget

We stopped over and over. It was Sammi’s dream road trip. Every time we stopped, we asked for fresh mango to be chopped up. “Y… una más. Y tal vez una más.” You can’t beat fresh mango from a roadside stand. You just can’t.

Last call for street food!

Getting in to Guatemala City was a challenge. With a population of 2.45 million people, The GC (don’t call it that) is bustling. It took all 3 of us 100% of our concentration to get in to the city to find the car return. Everyone had a job. Sammi was our heroic driver. Patrick was our brilliant navigator. And I was on hardcore LOOK OUT. Looking out for moto drivers coming up the side unannounced. Making sure we were clear all around for any merging or lane changing. We were so thankful for the tinted windows as we drove into the city. It was the most stressful time of the trip. BUT WE DID IT! We love the cooperative game we call travelling abroad together. And together, WE WON! We made it to the rental place and sweated together while playing it cool as the gentleman who worked there asked us about a dent on the side. We gulped. “Es broma!” he said. Oh, good. We love jokes! Thankfully, it was already on our PAPER we had painfully filled out at the start of our trip. Don’t cut corners, kids. Especially if another truck is coming up a narrow mountain road. #scuffle

At the airport, we got a taxi to our hotel a few blocks away and couldn’t believe it was in a gated community. The safety precautions to enter were impressive and intimidating. Our taxi driver made sure we were let in before he drove away. Those Guatemalans are so polite! Once we were safely inside, it was time for a lengthy trip recap, final snack division, and a receipt review for cost per day calculation.

These two are so generous they even do the MATH.

Snack of the trip: Cebollitas!

We took advantage of our wifi to do all of our last minute urgent things like watch that spider monkey video over and over. We looked up the answers to our burning questions we’d be saving all week like which quetzal came first, the resplendent bird or the currency? Questions like those lead us to watching a video of Guatemala’s national anthem (which shouts out the resplendent Quetzal! The money is definitely named after the bird) and reading the English translation of the lyrics. The anthem is over 5 minutes. Here’s how it starts:

Fortune Guatemala, may your altar, Never be trampled by the tormentor

Nor should slaves lick the yoke, Nor should tyrants spit in your face

If tomorrow your sacred soil is threatened by foreign invasion

Free into the wind, your beautiful flag to victory or death it will call

CHORUS

Free into the wind, your beautiful flag to victory or death it will call

Since your people, with fiery soul will be dead before enslaved.

Go on then! Have a listen! It’s pretty in Spanish.

Guatemala is a gorgeous country with lovely, polite, welcoming people and a fascinating history. 10/10 would recommend. Our entire trip, we felt like Guatemala is Central America’s best kept secret. Costa Rica has become a tourist hub. We predict Guatemala is next.

Sending all of the love,

Helen (and these two cuties pictured below!)