Adventuresam

In my opinion, (and even though it’s over now), this was the most beautiful autumn on record.

Those colors are unbe-leaf-able.

And, even though change was in the air (see September slump) I found ways to enjoy the most gorgeous fall to date. Hey, did someone say date? (I did!) A solo date where I treated myself to award winning, boneless wings on Mt. Washington before a romantic walk, party of one, to make some unexpected friends.

These are the new friends I was bragging about. Aren’t they dears?

Later that month I rented a vehicle (’cause mine sounds like a bad race car) and headed to Chagrin Falls, Ohio to check out (another!) premier of The Ringmaster!  I admired leaves on the way, and admired Chagrin Falls when I got there, meeting up with Zach (the producer/star!) and Andy (hi Andy!).  We had a really nice time in Chagrin Falls; it felt like Stars Hollow but, you guessed it, with a waterfall.  

Chagrin and bear it

We grabbed onion rings (which weren’t as good as Larry’s) before the movie and waved to Kat’s mom.

After the show, we had a FABULOUS Italian dinner starting with pizza (it was Friday night, after all), including the best eggplant Zach’s ever had, and returning a soup which showed me that I don’t have to dim my sparkle.  I thought it was an absolutely fantastic night.

Pizza, the only love triangle I ever want.

It was SO FUN to see Andy and Zach get along so well (not like I was surprised), but it was cool to see two different parts of my life interacting.  In fact, by the end of dinner, Zach declared himself ‘President of the “Fan-dy” club’, and the two of them helped me solve my 5-kid dilemma. Should I just get pregnant with them all at the same time!? (Collin: ‘No.’) Overall, it was a wonderful night full of laughter, a fun movie, delicious food, and friendship/fandom. 

The next day, it was just me and Zach. We drank fruit water (exactly what it sounds like) while enjoying a perfect hot/cold combo by the fire.  After a matching breakfast, I drove back to Pittsburgh and took advantage of my easy to drive rental car by stopping at multiple grocery stores (Aldis and Trader Joes). 

Back from that short trip, I continued to throw myself into work — it was really “paying” off.  As in, I had some pretty large bank deposits despite mourning the destruction of my favorite parking garage.  And whenever I would have a particularly tough night (honestly, it was most of them) Col sent me the best, most encouraging texts.  ❤

And then later, as I recovered from a mini surgery, Collin upped the ante on his encouragement (and fun) and sent me on a scavenger hunt from afar! This, again, cheered me up, as did the Hello Fresh meal I tried (Blue Apron, it’s not what it looks like!) 

Sarri not sorry

Here’s a QUICK SHAMELESS PROMOTION for TikToktober:  Patrick, my best friend, is a hilarious, dedicated middle school teacher who’s cray cray for Tay Tay and, even though the month is over, you should go and follow him.

“What, like it’s hard?” — Legally Blonde

Other highlights?  Burger night with Emily when I really needed it. And a visit from Collin where I got to watch him and laugh.

My favorite quote from the weekend:  “I don’t think you’re ready.”
“WHERE ARE YOUR CREDENTIALS? I’M READY.”

smoosh

Please disregard the affair I had with Hello Fresh.  This is one of my favorite Blue Apron’s.

Never knew what peace felt like until you wrapped me in your arms.

Rocktober had another notable burger moment; the Burgatory Bash!  Emily, Laura, and heaps of other friends all got together, ate more than we could, bought food with tickets, compared delicious hamburgers, forgot which was which and tried again, almost won trivia, and browsed Barnes and Nobel to purchase more games.

Go green!

Dexter’s not catty.

After Collin left I rented another car, drove to FL, and saw my parents PLUS Aunt Betsy and Uncle Marvin  ❤  The leaves were absolutely stunning. Can’t say it enough.  And the trees losing their greens inspired us to play a game of photosynthesis while the (almost adult) kittens watched.

I spy with my little eye…something gorgeous!

When I got back to Pittsburgh I received fluffy socks in the mail, reconvened Friday lunches with Emily ❤ ❤ , discovered Spotify, stopped making meal kits (it’s not as much fun to cook for one), and booked tickets (back) to New Zealand with Rachelle. 

Rocktober continued with:

• Helen’s first paid gig in Seattle! So proud!! 
• A phone call with Patrick that lasted for 3 hours
• The Thai place with mum for dinner
• Dexter hijacking my heart: Dexter, I loved seeing you. (And I did). 
• Pitt’s Homecoming where I met Drea and saw Pitt through the eyes of Sour Patch kids, free food, music, sing-alongs, laser shows, and smoke. 
• Planning a couple’s Halloween costume 
• And a Halloween Party at Rae’s. I came in third place in the costume contest (thank you!) But the highlight was when I got to pet Enzo, watch baseball, and drink what she drank. It was a pleasure meeting her friends and family — Rachel, a great host, always makes me feel so welcomed 

Pitt giving me laser vision.

The Big RaeBowski

“Hey Siri, play smooth jazz,”
‘mi

September was bound to be hard.

I spent most days coming home to an empty house — to a dreamflat that no longer housed my best friend or my boyfriend.  I am proud of them both for moving to follow their dreams, but it’s difficult to miss someone; it’s painful.

I threw myself into work. I worked all the time which was bittersweet.  It is fun to make money, but the atmosphere’s so loud and pulsing. It’s fake, exhausting, and repetitive. To smile so much, to deal with rejection from people I don’t even like, and to interact with others who want to take and take was emotionally draining.  Not to mention having to shower twice a day.  In September, I woke up still tired.  I do love my job but burn out happened quickly.

It was hard to get recharged.  There was no-one to come home to. Sometimes, after work, I would just lay on the floor because I was too tired to shower, but too filthy to get into bed; a different perspective of the same room.

Dream flat from the floor.

I needed to find something fulfilling to do with my days. I turned to blog writing, but I was just reliving the past to where it felt like the world was becoming smaller; the universe was reducing possibilities until all that was left was sustenance.  I learned to never (ever) write as many blogs about one country as I did for New Zealand.

I thought about reading or free writing about the future instead of the past. But the days in September were a grind– the white noise of contemporary American life.

I spent a lot of time Face-timing, especially Col. He told me he was sleeping in his “office bed,” and that only when we are together does it feel like home.  I agreed and spent September in my own office bed (or office floor).  I made a few solo Blue Apron meals until I canceled them, went to the gym, and spent heaps of time cleaning (the laundry room got a great wipe down).  I did grown up things like visit the dermatologist and took my car for a much-needed check-up.  Mouse sounded as horrible as I felt.  And the dreamflat porch was in absolute shambles.  Literally falling apart.  I rent, so it’s okay, but my house’s outsides matched my insides. 

Woe is me.
But the month wasn’t all bad. Even though the dream flat was lonely, the stove got fixed and is no longer tilting backwards.  A small victory.

I still spent lots of Friday afternoons having lunch with wee Emily, which was joyful.  One time I got to see her use her hair as a hand towel. Apryl, Erin, and Laura also made casual appearances. Em and I were making our way around the fountain clock.  During one lunch, we went to a place where “everything here is fried.”

That night, wee Emily invited me to see Matteo Lane in the Southside, and, since I was a flight risk, Emily graciously spent the whole day with me to make sure I wouldn’t bail. ❤ Good friend.  The show was fantastic.  After, we all went out for a drink and talked about TINP as a tattoo —  “cus I’m a T.I.N.P”.

Some more good September Standouts include:
-A super fun hang with Trisha and Joe!
-Lunch with Momma Candy and Angie
-Collin asking me for notes on his sets ❤
-That one day at work where all my favorites were there (briefly).
-Mine and Col’s longest scooter ride to date
-Dessert at the farmers market with fresh figs
-Crazy nights at work with rich people, including a food tab that I got part of to go
-A sleep over with my mom plus thrift store shopping, leftovers, and Tilapi-yum 
-Pumpkins
-A new kind of face mask
-My skinned knees healed
–Patrick graciously ushered me into his fantasy football league.  

Friends 🙂

I also saw Col in person!  We went to 7 Springs where I helped him with a mic swap. He said it was his best trip there yet #honored. Although, he also said that the last time he was there they put a dead skunk in his room, so it wasn’t exactly a tough competition.

We went for a fun hike on the Watercress trail and asked for directions at the start.  There was also bath time and a memorable moment when someone forgot their girlfriend’s name (it wasn’t Collin).  The next morning we enjoyed our free breakfast tickets with a fantastic spread (including imposter whipped cream).

Giving them pumpkin’ to talk about.

I can’t believe IT IS butter.

One Thursday, while Collin was in Pittsburgh, we caught a 10pm movie — our first movie in theaters together. We were the only ones in that entire show and there was so much LOVE and genuine kindness between the two of us (#always). We ordered kettle corn with butter (both a game-changer and a night-ruiner), cherry coke, and hazelnut M&Ms, which we enjoyed from the comfort of one single reclining chair.

The next day, we celebrated Hanna’s “birthday” (read: free dessert).  It was fried ice cream, there was a Pilsbury doughboy moment, and ice cream was everywhere.  Happens to the best of us on our birthdays!

Collin and I also drove up for a quick trip to Cleveland, Ohio for a crowd work show. We listened to Audible on the way and I got to see my dear friend Andy.

Pro tip: boyfriends who keep you laughing

At the end of the month, some trees started to change colors – becoming a vibrant red depending on, what seems like, their trees personalities #Treesonalities.
A silver lining to a less than great month? It’s going to be a gorgeous fall.

Col ‘planting’ himself in my living room.

I’ll leave you with some contemplative words, ‘cus it was that kind of month:

“As I’m aging, the bliss of the novel gives way to a yearning for the familiar. I leaned to travel when I felt it. And I still do feel it. But less now.  Every journey has its end. The trick, of course, is to recognize it.” – J Maartin.

But all joking aside, even though I’m not joking.
Going to therapy soon — you guys need anything?
‘mi

Molly and I missed each other, so we decided to take a trip together because that is truly the natural course of action. Since we do, also, like other people, we decided to make it a solo trip that involved others along the way (semi-solo trip).

Oh, heyyyyyy!

To kick it off, I flew to Minnesota for a gorgeous stay in her childhood home. It felt like we were in a treehouse during a rainstorm AND we got to hang out with her parents, Betsy and Dooey.  I played tennis with Dooey who figuratively and literally schooled me (once he beat me, he graciously gave me lessons on serving). 

We also visited with cousin Lainey and her two wonderful children, during which time, I, as per Collin’s Theory*, re-decided I would like to have 5 children of my own.

*Collin’s Theory: Scientifically based, mathematical, foolproof formula which proposes that every time I see well-behaved children I want some of my own. 

(Sammi + Well-behaved Child = yes please, I’ll take 5)

After seeing my future, Molly and I went to go get froyo at a place called Cherry Berry, which sounded more like a chapstick flavor than a name for a froyo place (or any kind of eatery). We didn’t get cherry or berry flavor, and we also avoided the cotton candy flavor because PRO TIP: If you get cotton candy flavor, no matter what your second flavor is, it’ll also taste like cotton candy (note: this rule also applies if you just get cotton candy flavor and no 2nd flavor but who would do that?).

Unbeknownst to us until it was happening, we took our froyo to the corner of a busy intersection and danced on the side of the road while we ate it. #LivingOurBestLives

And maybe it was because we were cold from the froyo, or maybe just because it’s a great froyo pairing, we got some matching socks from Target after finishing our treat. Afterwards, we went to see a movie, but first I “buried the lead”  in the one we chose not to see. The movie that we DID see was that Bruce Springstein one called Blinded by the Light. When the credits rolled, we whispered, “Do you like Bruce’s music more or less after that..?” 

The next day, we took a family visit to the cemetery and then Mol and I rented a small car for our roadtrip. Where they tried to give us an “upgrade, a bigger car using more fuel?? NO THX. 

In the car, we talked about things you say as you hang up the phone to prove your integrity (i.e., “She’s such a nice girl,” but before the phone is put down). Unrelated, Molly told me that “the Jewish part of me is a boy”.

Car ride mood:  Sorry, I can’t hear you over the same Bruce Springstein song.

The first stop on our road trip was Culvers.  We got some custard and butter burgers and then….. The next stop was La Crosse, Wisconsin to MEET BABY BEA!!!!!!!

When Bea met Sammi.

Sammi + Well-behaved baby Bea = yes, please, I’ll take 5+5

Now I want 10 babies!!!!  Bea is the most perfect baby I have ever met. I love her!  She has that sparkle  — you can tell how special she is!  And while Bea was the star of the show, we were also there to hang out with Bea’s mom aka my best friend aka Colleen aka Col.

We stayed at Colleen’s house and had dinner with Colleen, Ben, and Bea. We’d brought Colleen the coolest, sensitive plant (#wewereobsessed) that curled up for the night. And for dessert, we’d brought froyo (BYOFROYO). While distributing dessert, we found out that Ben’s first job was at Cold Stone, so he flavor-profiled our choices and added graham crackers to the table to make our froyo experience more decadent.  Yum!

It was such a fun night, and later at bedtime, I talked to Col (but boyfriend Col, not Mama Col) over the phone and belly laughed until I cried.

Bea wearing a BEE shirt?! Are you kidding me!?!!!

3 Peas in a Pod.

The next day, we did role reversal and instead of 3 men and a baby, we performed 3 women and a baby (and Buffy) as we drove to see Colleen’s mom, Mary, at the lakehouse. 

#SquadGoals

We hung out at the house for a while, I got to chat with Mary’s husband, Paul, and get a tour of the new, awesome garage (con-garage-ulations!).  Mary graciously watched Bea while Molly, Col, and I went kayaking on the lake. We didn’t get very far, but we had tons of fun and shared stories about other water experiences. We wanted to talk (and succeeded) but at the expense of coordinated kayaking; we ran into each other for the sake of good conversation.

After our amazing visit with Mary and Paul, we drove Colleen, Bea, and Buffy back to Col’s house and said our “see you laters.”

…And then Molly and I were back on the road!  We stopped in Madison to pick up a new backpack for Molly, which she wore like a second skin.  I was so excited to be there for the moment #LoveAtFirstZip.

We had way more time than we realized in Milwaukee, which, we discovered “seemed like a city with no money but had personality.” -Molly-waukee.

We learned that Megan the Stallion was playing.  We didn’t hear her show but we did see all of her fans dressed up just how we like ‘em.

The next morning, we had a great food order:

A feast for our eyes!

Followed by a Lime scooter ride that took all of my concentration.  Not featured in this video— the lake.

https://youtu.be/u-frqhLKRCo

Finally, before heading to the airport, Molly and I found the best cream (seriously) and returned the rental.  Once at the airport (here we come, VEGAS), we sipped on some strong coconut water while I read a lengthy Taylor Swift article.

We got picked up in Sin City by Zach, a friend and the producer of The Ringmaster– a movie that Molly had co-directed with her boyfriend, Dave — AND, the movie we were in Vegas to see premier!!! (Hi Zach!)

Hangin with the (film) crew

Zach was so nice!  We stayed at his house (THANKS, ZACH) — and said “never mind” to the Airbnb we’d booked.  

On Friday, we visited Puppy Town (wondered if the Chinese restaurant next door eats them after they grow up). We lied– or maybe told half-truths– in order to play with the puppies. I said I wanted two because you had to say you were going to buy one if you want to play with them. The truth is, I really do want two…

Sammi+ well-behaved puppy = yes, please, I’ll take 2.

The next day, we prepared for the premier by eating a breakfast of champions at a diner named Blueberry Hill. In honor of the name, we got a blueberry muffin, amongst other things.

The perfect order, if we do say so ourselves.

That afternoon, Molly’s boyfriend Dave, aka the co-director, drove in from LA with our friend Chris to meet us for the premier. (Hi Dave and Chris! See you soon :))

And that night, we headed to the Cinemark movie theater where they were holding the Silver State Film Festival!!

On the way!

Before the Vegas showing, the Ringmaster had one other premier in New York, where it did really well. There’d be another one in Ohio, where I’d go and meet Zach, and then another one in LA and two in Minneapolis. QUITE a well-traveled movie.

Anyways, this Saturday night premier was SO COOL. It was at The Orleans hotel and had a red carpet!

Honored to be part of the entourage– #Hontorage

The Cinemark theater was nice —  it had reclining seats AND sold popcorn.  The candy that we snuck in was a big hit, but not as big as the movie, which WON THE AUDIENCE AWARD FOR BEST DOCUMENTARY AT THE SILVER STATE FILM FESTIVAL. NO BIG DEAL.

And so it begins…

After the movie, Chris and I had a hankering for onion rings (Zach, Molly, and Dave weren’t affected anymore since they’ve eaten the best ones in the world). So we all went downstairs to Friday’s (the American embassy) to grab some grub.

The next morning, Molly and I went with Pace for a solo run (to work off those onion rings) and then had a hang while we waited for everyone to wake up so that we could go for all-you-can-eat sushi. I wandered away briefly, tried to keep it together, and then ate all I could eat.

The group then headed to Planet 13! And we happened to see the drones but then later found ourselves in another celestial realm– the COOLEST (biggest) gem shop ever!  It was amazing– the colors, the temperature, the textures!  Everything about those crystals was mesmerizing.

After staring for so long, this crystal was like, “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” So I did.

I felt like being impressed some more…so it was suggested that we go and visit some dolphins. Everyone was down, because… who wouldn’t be?  It was a great idea-olphin!

When we pulled up at the hotel, I knew JUST how to help. Still strapped in with a seatbelt, I opened my car door and yelled (to the valet):  “WHERE ARE THE DOLPHINS?!”

…more like DolphFUN

Here’s what I learned:  Dolphins are a matriarchal society, and that in this particular aquarium, they have 15 dolphins and over 50 staff.  We saw a baby, a momma, and a grandmother.

While we were there, we also saw a human girl who had a relationship with each individual dolphin, a biblical Siegfried and Roy making a tablet proclaiming they were Noah (weird) and a couple of actual lions (beautiful). 

Beyond the movie premier, the aquarium was a highlight. And so were the gems (I’m referring both to the crystals and my wonderful friends).

For dinner, we went to a DELICIOUS vegan restaurant because after watching the dolphins how could we not think that fish are friends.  The meal was out of this world good. Chef Kenny prepared spicy crispy “scallops,” “sea bass,” and a magical sushi “steak” roll.

Dave & Chef Kenny

It was an all-you-can-eat kind of day. So we did it twice.

At the end of the trip, we said our goodbyes, and I thanked Zach PROFUSELY for everything he’d done and all his hospitality!! (THANKS AGAIN, ZACH)! And I headed back home, where Collin picked me up.

When my hunny had dropped me off at the airport, he said he wouldn’t finish the water bottle I’d given him until I was back with him.  I didn’t think of it again until I landed and he reminded me about what he’d said…before he finished it right then and there.

My flight was an overnight one…and I slept zero winks.  It is so exciting to go away and it is so exciting to come home.  I landed at 7am and took a nap in Collin’s arms.

Thank you to Molly, Col, and Zach for a wonderful trip!

Ringmaster ‘mi

By the time I got back from Togo (oh, didn’t I tell you? I went to Togo), it was the middle of August. I’d returned to the Dream Flat, which Helen had left in spectacular shape before she left… (*sobs quietly…or loudly*). While I’d been in Ethiopia, Collin had also signed a lease in New York and would be officially moving at the beginning of September. Times, they are a’changin. 

BUT my wonderful boyfriend was there when I landed back in the USA.   He picked me up from the airport with a bouquet of roses and a whole day to spend together. There was kettle corn, vegan chocolate, and a Blue Apron steak and gnocchi involved — A wonderful homecoming.

In love-thiopia

Facebook official: In a relationship with Collin ❤

Dream flat still lookin’ like a dream

Because Col knew I would be coming back to an empty dream flat (read: without Helen), he often filled the space by hand-delivering gorgeous bouquets of flowers to cheer me up.

In fact, he cheered me up all month — we spent the latter half of August going on cool dates and doing what we love the most– cooking Blue Apron at home.  While I was in Africa, I’d been craving Blue Apron so much that whenever I got a spot of good wifi, I would look up pictures of the food Blue Apron was offering… I’m not addicted, I swear.

The best we ever had.

When we weren’t stuffing our faces with Blue Apron at home (and even when we were), we went on the best dates, including one Sunday where the whole day was a date…a Sundate. We started with yoga day at PNC Park where we stretched in the sun, admired our beautiful city, and snuck a kiss on the Pirate’s soft, green baseball field.

Oms in the Outfield

After yoga, we went to the free piano day in downtown Pittsburgh where wonderful pianist professionals played four huge grand pianos. It was glorious! After listening to lots of music, we were inclined to make some music of our own…and popped into FI.2 to wet our whistles.

Head over heels.

After a drink, we transitioned to Bridges and Bourbon to treat ourselves to a unique dining experience that included an actual campfire and other fun surprises. 

Fancy schmancy

And while August was a month for some really great dates, we did have a home invasion. 

Finding his hiding spot.

It was a bat!  After some discussion, I called the landlord.  Jeff came with reinforcements, and, good news, the bat left with Jeff.  Now? All Col and I can remember are the furry bits. Er, funny bits.

With the bat taken care of, I felt good enough to leave the dream flat and head to Louisville for a long weekend to…… SEE HELEN!!!!!!!

New state, old friends

Of course, this trip was amazing and deserving of its own blog post, so I won’t gonna get into too much detail here. 

On my return from Louisville, my reimmersion back to Pittsburgh, I was in a rush. It was an adrenaline shot, a caffeinated jolt, Dunkin’ Doughnuts, a “please bring me a change of clothes so that while you’re driving I can change in the car before we go and meet your mother.”  

Col picked me up at the airport with another bouquet of stunning roses (he really knows how to pick ‘em) AND he’d put the white couch back together all on his own.  What a mensch ❤

And it wasn’t long until I was back on the road again. This time, heading to Findley Lake to see my parents who, as always, cooked an extravagant meal.  Which gave me a break (that I didn’t want or need) from Blue Apron, but did allow me to enjoy my mum’s amazing cooking.

What’s cookin’, good lookin’?

When we got back from the lake, I wanted more dates. I was greedy for dates.
So, Col did what every good boyfriend does, he let me plan more dates 🙂

Who would have thunk?

Like that double date Col and I had with Rachel and Roman (Hi Roman! So nice to FINALLY meet you). We went to the Oaks theater where Col was performing, and where I ordered whatever drink Rachel was having.

I also had my weekly friend-date with Emily where we continued our tradition of lunch in the park.

#Parkperk

And a standout date — in a month of already incredible dates–  the fancy date my honey and I went on where we got all dressed up and he played songs on the guitar before we had even left the house. 

Might as well be on the cover of GQ.

Plus, Collin, brought me a 3rd bouquet of flowers… SWOON.

Painting the town. Dahntown, that is.

That night, I got to speak Jamaican patois to a very unimpressed Uber driver. And, after dinner, we turned it into a party when Col, my boots, and I all met up with Emily and Laura ❤

Overall, coming back home to so much change after Africa was hard but.. it was also chock full of memorable dates, love, Blue Apron, family, traveling with Helen, and time spent in my favorite place.

A Portrait of an August as a Young Woman,
‘mi

Helen and I MISSED each other!  We hadn’t seen each other for over a month,  #DreamFlatmate #withdrawals. So, when Helen got invited to perform at the Midwest Queer Comedy Festival — and neither of us had ever been to Kentucky — we used it as an excuse to meet up. (we’re coming for you all 50 states). 

Horsing around.

Helen booked us in a fancy hotel ❤ And it became (very) apparent during our stay that Kentucky is obsessed with horses. It’s your classic chicken and the egg conundrum: What came first? Kentucky’s obsession with horses, or the Derby? 

At breakfast, we played “how many horses are in this room?” A woman who worked there saw us playing and wanted to join in. Altogether, we counted 30+ horses in one room. That’s a lot of horsepower. 

After whinnying and dining*, we went for a walk and noticed that there was a sign on a small theatre door that said “Closed. President’s in town.” Which president, we wondered. The president of the theater?

Close, but not quite…

*The author gets to re-write the order of events.

Donald’s entourage

Donald’s security detail gave it away. And while we weren’t excited about being in the presence of such a vile person, we didn’t mind being in the presence of such BEAUTIFUL, powerful men in very strapping and sleek uniforms. Helen and I almost couldn’t look away.  

Even the bike cops who made us feel like we were on a sitcom pulled up next to us and said, “Would you look at those guys? Mmmm. Mmm.”  

We lingered outside for a bit longer, conflicted about whether we actually wanted to see Trump.  Neither of us had ever seen a sitting president, but also —  EW!  He’s the worst.  But the thing was we literally had no other plans — our only plan all day was to enjoy each other’s company.   So, we kept staying “for the people watching”.  But wouldn’t it be crazy if….

Okay, so it turned out, that this event was a Republican fundraiser, and we got to watch the rich people going inside while we judged them about what they chose to spend their money on.

And almost as an act of rebellion, we went to grab coffee at a steal — we paid $.40 more for triple the coffee, high-fived, and ran back outside so as not to miss the Trump celebrity sighting, but rumor had it that this was a decoy hotel.

Helen and I were 50% sure that we were in the right place. We imagined that the exact same thing was happening at another hotel nearby and laughed at the thought of another police dog sniffing around for bombs to make sure that the other hotel was safe.

While waiting around, the news asked to interview us, and Helen coached me from the sidelines. At the end of the interview, we practiced for some shameless promotion. The interviewer asked:

“Anything else you’d like to say?”

I winked at Helen, “I’m in town for the Midwest Queer Comedy Festival!” 

(nailed it!)

TV credit, local Kentucky news.

The journalist told us it was going to be a while until a potential Trumps sighting — as the journalist had a direct line with the White House (super impressive)–  so we had time to kill and chose to dip into a Mexican joint for a bit of a refresh and to watch his Kentucky speech on TV.

Hail to the drinks.

In the end, we didn’t see Trump, but he WAS at the hotel, and it was a really interesting experience. But contrary to his online presence, he kept a low profile the entire time and went in and out of the back entrance. Apparently, they’d set up a tunnel through the hotel so no one got a glimpse of him.

At one point, we met a security guy at the same hotel who told us to come back later to take a tour, which we did. And then Helen and I continued our day and talked about the interesting experience. We grabbed our Bourbon Trail passports and tried to get as many stamps as we could gather.

Art museum on the Bourbon trail – thanks for the recommendation, Patrick!

This paragraph’s for us:  That night, we took a picture of a sign, which was how people knew we were tourists. We changed that picture to our phone background…and promptly changed it again in the morning.   #jellyfish #noadifferentone #STILLMATCHING  “Ever tried.  Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” — Samuel Beckett  

The next day, we Ubered to the Kentucky State Fair where we kept with the matching themes (always) and got some matching pins from a skeptical woman.  And upon seeing the size of the fair, we thanked our lucky stars that we’d thought to wear sneakers. It wasn’t the only thing that was huge though, check out the fruits and vegetables!

Fat Cabbage– Flabbage

The largest cabbage had won $8, but the winner was a pumpkin that weighed over 1,000 lbs and had won a dollar for each pound. #WinnerWinnerPumpkinDinner

Keeping with the food theme, we checked out some decorated cakes that were really fun to peruse. The cakes had won awards too, but they’d been sitting out for so long they’d started mold; not for consumption.

And after seeing the inedible desserts we made it our MISSION to find derby pie (famous in Louisville).

“Do you have anything that is not fried?”

But in the midst of Operation: Derby Pie, we found other cool things to do like walk through a corn maze (a maize maze), watch dogs perform tricks, and of course, watch horses prance.

It had taken a while to find the horses because we got wrong directions on how to get there (from a guy who worked at the fair, mind you). But, in the end, the woman at the door let us straight into the VIP seating. Wahoo!  We ended up sitting next to a woman whose granddaughter was in the show and won 4th place.  Interesting.  Although the competition…event? wasn’t the most intuitive; So we left with both a lot of questions, and, more importantly, enjoyable visual stimulation.

The fair itself was mostly indoors, had lots of things to see, and was full of (literal) pigs. It was the most pigs I’d ever been around. But there were lots of other animals, too, including this overly friendly, adorable goat.  It was here that I wondered…Does Pennsylvania have their own State Fair??

Nice to bleat you.

After seeing the animals, we got our annual checkups from the Kentucky State Fair as there were healthcare events like skin cancer screenings.  Helen and I were most excited for this: “You can tell we’re two people who don’t have health insurance.”

2 sweet thangs

The fair took a lot out of us, so the next day, we slept in, BUT it was also the day Taylor Swift’s new album came out!  Lover!  We laid on the comfy bed #luxury and listened to her entire album before going into the aforementioned horse room to have the famous Brown’s hotel breakfast.

As tasty as it is bad for you.

Besides being the day of Tay Tay’s album release, it was also the first day of the Midwest Queer Comedy Festival AND THE DAY VICTORIA WAS COMING TO TOWN!!

3 best friends

While Helen practiced her set, Victoria and I had a blast lounging and catching up.

We got to the show and watched Helen kill it, as she does. 

SO FUN(NY)!

Unfortunately, I had to duck out early to catch my flight back to Pittsburgh, but when I got to the airport, I found out that my flight had been cancelled, so I raced back to the show to get BONUS TIME WITH HELEN AND VICTORIA!

The three of us hung out all night, and they let me crash in their hotel room (thank you!!), and Victoria ordered us champagne and non-fried derby pie. I was SO thankful but also thought it was hilarious that it was right under my nose the whole time. Victoria is so generous and great at creating magic.

I snuck out in the middle of the night, whispering goodbye to my best friends, before anyone fully woke up, and crept out to catch my 6am flight, thankful that:

“In a world of ceaseless change, it can be gratifying to know that some things remain forever the same.”  –J. Maarten Troost
I’m talkin’ about best friendship.

Until next time,
‘mi 

Best friends fairever!

I headed solo to Togo!  And landed in Lomé, the capital.

To Togo I go go.

It was a direct flight from Addis Ababa (5 hours and 50 minutes) where watched some feel-good content to make me sob (i.e., the movie Max and, of course, Queer Eye).

I arrived at 10:30 AM, looked at my calendar to make sure I had penciled into my schedule a healthy dose of misadventure and bewilderment when I realized… drumroll please… I accidentally had left my passport with the customs officials when I left the airport. 

AHHHH!!!!

PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had already left the airport!  Thankfully, Togo is one of the only countries in the world where this didn’t seem to be too much of a problem.  I took the same taxi back to the airport, practiced my French, went the employee way through through several metal detectors, and retrieved my most valuable item.

After that stressful debacle, I was happy to check into my amazing hostel, which was reasonably priced, didn’t have bunk beds, and was situated right on the beach. It also had a huge, friendly tortoise as the hostel pet. 

hostel place with friendly views

Home for the night.

Really coming out of his shell.

The sounds of waves crashing:

I paid $11 USD for a 6-person dorm and I was the only one there that night (#HomeAlomé). But the day was young (I had gained three hours of my life back traveling from Ethiopia), and I still had lots of exploration ahead of me. 

I was on my own again.  No one was expecting anything from me.  Also, no one was there to remind me how dumb it was that had I left my passport at the airport.

The first place on my to-go (haha, get it?) list was the largest Voodoo market in the entire world. Once I got there, I learned that they charge tourists to take photos, so I opted out of snapping pics and found some stock ones on the internet (Scrappy visits Togo). Here are photos that look exactly like the pictures I would have taken had I been willing to pay.

Sugar, spice, and…everything nice?

The market had what you’d need (I assume) for a voodoo ritual: fetish charms, porcupine quills, tortoise shells (thought back to my new friend at the hostel), baby hyenas, snakes. The whole place smelled like death mixed with dried herbs. You best believe I used hand sanitizer after being there.  Not to mention my loss of appetite.  The smell of decaying skin was pervasive.

Voodoo market for all your voodoo needs

My initial observations in Togo: 

I still don’t, in fact, speak French (although I tried);
I love how it sounds when Western Africans speak English;
The men here are gorgeous.  Striking.  Not that I notice those things anymore, I’m just letting you know for descriptive purposes;
People kiss their teeth when they’re mad;
Women mostly keep their heads uncovered.
Motorbike taxis are a game changer — giving me a sense of freedom. They were everywhere in Togo!
Paved roads:

Dirt roads:

They see me rollin…and snoozin…

I left the Voodoo market to check out another market in Lomé; the largest market in Togo.

How many coconuts can you carry on YOUR head?

The market was insanity!  It was one of the busiest markets I’ve ever seen.  It was gorgeous and, bonus!, it didn’t smell too badly. (I admit, the voodoo market before might’ve clogged my nostrils).

Compared to Ethiopia, this market was way less muddy and there weren’t coffee stands (they were missed).  

This market was hectic!  I was only able to take pictures from the outside as I couldn’t focus on anything other than what was happening. Including walking.  I had to focus intensly on walking, which was crazy because unlike other women at the market, I wasn’t even carrying anything on my head.

At the market, THE FOOD LOOKED AMAZING (especially compared to Djibuti). The variety and smell far surpassed what I had been seeing in other African markets.  I was so tempted to eat, but I had flashbacks to being sick in Ethiopia. So I was wary.  Especially since I couldn’t see any of it being cooked and none of the food was actually served hot. In fact, most of it was on people’s heads.

I needed a break from the hustle and bustle. I popped inside the courtyard of a church.  The famous cathedral was gorgeous (but not super photogenic), so I’ll let you use your imagination.  The church was yellow, if that helps.

I met a guy in the church yard who was dying to practice his English, so I asked him about food. I tried to say I needed food “with fire” because “cooked” wasn’t getting through to him. To be fair, I also don’t know how to say “cooked food” in French.

Nice guy.! Bad at english. Same could be said about my french.

Apparently, he understood what I was communicating, so he took me to a spot…

Time to try to order some food.  Bon chance.

Before the woman put any food in my bowl, she nicely washed it, and I — very obnoxiously  (but understandably so) — grabbed it to dry it out with the tissues I’d just purchased, because I wanted to make sure there wouldn’t be any water left in the bowl.  You know, so as not to upset my sensitive Western stomach.

Before eating, I didn’t wash my hands with soap (can’t wash with what you don’t have), but I did douse them with heaps of hand sanitizer and made sure they were dry before I ate becauseee….. I had to eat with my hands (GULP). No silverware. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore eating with my hands, yinz know me, but keep in mind, I’d also just spent a day walking (and motorbiking) around Togo with no hand washing. 

If I get sick, I know exactly where it happened.

When I got my meal, I didn’t technically see any fire as it was being cooked. I felt the food with my eating hand, aka my right hand.  At least the rice was hot! But the meat was cold (literally).  But not like from ‘straight from the fridge cold’.  So that was gonna be a ‘no’ for me.

Not typically the way I like my hot/cold combo

I ‘ate’ my 85 cent meal, pushing food from one side of the bowl to the other, mashing it up.  Eating rice.   I toyed with not posting the food pic on here because, well, look at it.  But I wanted you to know.

After ‘eating’, I’d had enough exploring for the day and took a harrowing motorcycle back to the hostel. Not all motos and motodrivers are created equal.   In fact, I had to switch drivers along the way.  That evening, I got my adrenaline fix for the year.

Now, from the get-go, I could tell that the best thing about Togo was the people. TRULY!  The people are grand! Not only are they really nice and friendly, but they also didn’t follow or bother me. Even the children don’t tail me around.  Except for one time (there is always the one time) some random guy started following me home. Luckily, one of the lovely things about the people in Togo is that they always ask you “ça va?” (You good?)   So much “ça va-ing”. It’s pleasant.  This country is great.

Anyway, that night, when I encountered a stranger who asked me “ça va?” I pointed to the man who’d been following me and said, “No! Bad!” I tried to explain my situation, but again, my French is rusty, so most of it got lost in translation.  The stranger came to my rescue, talked to my stalker, and I ran home, thankful. I’d like to reiterate that this story was an anomaly during my week in Togo.  THE PEOPLE THERE ARE WONDERFUL!

At my hostel, I got into bed and dreamt of Blue Apron.

The next day, I woke up and prepared for another day of brain-frying linguistic excursions.  I was going to head north to  Kpalimé.  Later, I will insert a link here to the blog.  But after Kpalimé, I circled back to Lomé for my last two nights on this Togolese visa.  And I’m just gunna keep this blog post about Lomé.

For one of those later nights that I spent in Lomé, I found a Couchsurfer named Deynee.

My gracious host!

I met Deynee at his clothing shop, where I sat with him for two hours doing absolutely nothing. He hadn’t made a sale that day – between 7:30 AM and 9:30 PM. I guiltily switched between feeling awful for him and feeling annoyed to be just sitting there. I was aware of my privilege but also wishing I had brought my book. 

During a break from the store, Deynee took me to his place and showed me where I’d be staying. Apparently, we were going to be sleeping in the same room, in the same bed, with no air flow. Once he realized that I’d just realized we were going to be sleeping in the same bed, he offered to sleep on the floor. But of course, I wasn’t going to displace him.

At least the bed is big…? Not pictured: The stagnant air.

While he went back to his clothing shop, I had some time to reflect. 

Inside thoughts while alone in his room:
I have no idea how to use the bathroom.  It’s shared with 20 other people. It’s a yard.  Is there an out house? He hadn’t mentioned how to use it (because why would he think to?).  I really have to go.  But I don’t have good sleeping bottoms for a public outing so I need to get dressed again.  Also, Deynee must brush his teeth but where?

At least I’m alone in this room for now. Thirsty? Too bad.  Can’t drink water ‘cause I’ll have to pee and just thinking about going out there makes my bladder tighten.

Feelings update: Proud to have figured the bathroom situation out.  What a relief, I was going to explode. I might even be able to go out there again and brush my teeth now that I see what it all looks like…

The bright side? I hadn’t gotten sick from any food – so I didn’t have to spend the night here.

I could hear mosquitos. All.over.  All.night.long.  They buzzed so loudly they kept me awake.  Or was it the lack of air flow that contributed to my lack of sleep? Or the rambunctious kids outside my hosts window?  

“I’m just on general high alert.” I wrote in my journal, as I continued taking malaria pills.

Finally, Deynee came in.  He started snoring so loudly.  Louder than the mosquitos.  I laid awake and awaited day break.

The next day, as you could probably guess, I was up bright and early.  After a brief tour around Lomé, Deynee and I went to get breakfast at a nearby restaurant. Afterwards, I headed back to the market to get my shoes cleaned (the height of luxury, remember?) as well as to get my toenails painted (for $1).  Then, I headed back to the only hostel I knew in Lomé.  

This time, there were more people staying, which was nice. I met a fellow traveler, an ambitious guy who’d wanted to find some nightlife in Lomé.

This screenshot sums it up.

Despite not finding anything to suggest that Lomé had a nightlife, we went out.  It was a weekend night, and we thought we might be able to find something.  

I had the “middle seat” on our motorcycle.  If there was a safe place on a two wheeled vehicle, I guess this was it.  

We drove to a place called Privilege bar, where we played air hockey and drank castle beer (it’s South African). It wasn’t what we were looking for, so, we walked 1.5k to a place called “Mad Complex,” (aka a food court), which, according to a google review, was “the best thing to happen to nightlife in Lomé”. LOL.

When we got there, we (immediately) turned around….and walked 1.5k back to Privilege bar to get a mototaxi back to the hostel. Police stopped us on our ride and asked for a bribe but my new friend – in perfect french – told them that we did not have a fun night out in Lomé and that we didn’t owe them anything. Amazing what being male and speaking the language can do.

The very next day, I packed for the airport. EEEEEE!!!!
IT WAS TIME TO GO HOME!!! (Is this my favorite part of any trip lately??)  I got rid of both the skirt and a top that I’d acquired in Ethiopia and it felt GOOD.  They permanently smelled bad; they were ugly; they weighed my bag down. #BYE.

[This coming from a girl wearing pants that hadn’t been washed and had recently been swimming in a waterfall (in a country where I don’t trust the water enough to drink).]

On the flight to Newark, I sat next to someone who stank — B.O. stank.  It got so bad that I had to ask the flight attendant for a baby wipe that I could put over my nose.  I was not going to miss this.

I didn’t sleep a wink.  2 flights. 0 winks.  (and not just because of the B.O. stank.)
I couldn’t wait to come home!  I finished my book and watched three movies, including Valentine’s Day (’cause I was feeling romantic). During my layover, I’d never been more excited about airport food; it smelled delicious PLUS I knew it (most likely) wouldn’t get me sick.  THIS IS THE NEW ME.

When I touched down in America, I embraced the feeling of coming back home. I’d been looking forward to speaking a language where I didn’t have to think twice about verb conjugations. 

To Togo I went,
‘mi

As an American, I could only get a 7-day visa for Togo.  

There is a possibility of extending your visa at the embassy, once you arrive, but when expensive, big ‘ticket’ items are involved, like plane tickets, you don’t want to run the risk not getting approved before making your travel plans.

Bonus info:  There is a direct flight from Togo to Newark! (How cool is that?!) But it only leaves every other day.  So, while I had a 7 day visa to Togo I was only able to stay for 6.

You can read about my Lomé time here.

Kpalimé, Togo.

This blog is about when I headed to Kpalimé for cooler weather, hikes, and great views. 

Once there, I hired a motor taxi and went on an adventure near Ghana.

Vroom vroom

I went on a solo butterfly excursion. It was hard to get any pictures ‘cause they were tiny; the size of moths. But I did manage to capture some wildlife in the form of ants.

And found a nice restaurant, where I got to try the famous West African fou-fou.      

The fanciest spot I could find.

A no thank fou-fou taste.

The next day, I took a motorbike to Mt. Agou — 2,234 ft. (986 meters)– which is the highest point in Togo and in the Atakora mountains.  I was going to hike it instead of bike it, but the views from the top were too foggy and not worth the extra time.

Refreshing.

Really mist out on a good view.

The next day, I took yet another moto taxi to see a waterfall.

Chasing waterfalls on dirt roads.

And even though all of my friends (and me) make fun of the bad camera I have on my phone, my guide loved it — he was very impressed.  It’s all relative…and nice to get some perspective.

Photoshoot!

My guide suggested that I go swimming at the above falls but I told him (in subpar French) “I am scared of crocodiles”.  But ended up just imitating a croc with my hands and pretending to attack.  He assured me that there weren’t any here, but I knew that there ARE crocs in Togo.  Eventually, after much insisting, I did go in…it was hard to resist.  I kept all of my clothes on because, unrelated to crocodiles, this is still a conservative country. 

I tried not to get any water in my mouth, least the water make me sick.  Strange how I was afraid to get water in my mouth but apparently I deemed my crotch safe.  I kept laughing to myself, these were the pants I was going to wear, sans washing, onto an international airplane. 

On the way back to town, we stopped for my first ever taste of fresh cacao. It was SO good.

Probably my favorite fruit.

Back in town, I went walking and stumbled upon another market. Again, I noticed that the variety of street food in Togo FAR surpasses that of Djibouti. And don’t even get me started on the smells. 

Variety is the spice of life, after all.

FOOD WITH FIRE

My favorite item to get at the market is pictured above: fried yummy things (as seen in the pan). They were hot and fresh, but I never did find out what they actually were.

Every time I ate, I took a picture. That way, in case I got sick, I’d remember everything I had eaten that day.

Here, I ate some eggs.

Coca-Cola in a glass bottle with a side of inspiring woman.

I also met some Couchsurfing friends in Kpalimé who I hung out with for a few hours, during which time they helped me practice walking with a book on my head.  As long as I walked as slowly as a snail I could handle one, single book. 

Some other Kpalimé moments:
There are no donkeys in Togo!  I showed off our donkeys pics.
The goats in this country are noticeable shorter. For real.
There was a medium sized crocodile (recently killed) for sale on the side of the road. Actually, there was lots of food that I’d never seen before for sale.
Not enough (hardly any) girl moto taxi drivers.
In the taxi-car from Lomé, we drove 4 in the front seat and 6 in the back. 

After three FULL days in Kpalimé, I took public transportation back to Lomé.

Ça va?
‘mi

Falling off the map can be good for you.

Patrick and I headed to Djibouti, a country we knew virtually nothing about. All we knew was that it contained the lowest point in Africa, and that this was probably the closest to Somalia (Somaliand) that I’d ever get (less than 30km).

When we arrived (neat video), we learned several things right off the bat:

1. Djibuti is hot as hell. It was 108 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. Their flag has the most gorgeous color blue in it.

3. We were confident that we would only be at Djibouti International Airport twice in our lifetimes: once when we landed, and once when we departed.

4. We were going to get ripped off on on the ride to our hotel because we hadn’t looked up the exchange rates. Djibouti, we learned quickly, is an expensive country. 

Djsweating my booty off.

Pimp my ride: Djibouti Edition

Early the next morning we met up with a Couchsurfer, Jon from Turkey, who offered to drive his company’s four-wheel drive for an adventure across this desolate part of the world to Lac Assal — the 2nd lowest point in the entire world (the first being the Dead Sea).

Scenes from the long drive.

I spy with my little eye something tan

Salt road > dirt road 🙂

On the drive, we played the question game. One question was, “When was the last time it took you longer than you thought it would to get somewhere?”  Jon decided that the next time he had to answer that question his answer would be this trip to Lac Assal.  Because it did take us a while to reach the Lac — there were so many trucks and traffic — Djibouti has an important location directly next to the Red Sea, with an Italian, French, Japanese, and US military base. Fun Fact: The Japanese Djibouti base is their only overseas base. It was crazy to see all the military in this small country and, as always, it drove home the point that there are so many things I don’t know about this world.

We also passed a lot of trucks heading to Ethiopia to deliver goods on land, we saw a (maybe) antelope, and a truck carcass on the side of the road as if it were some kind of warning about what was coming up (read: desolation).  We also noticed barrels of water being delivered to the very few people who lived along the road out this way.  Water is a precious, precious commodity in the desert.  And no one actually lives in Lac Assal because it’s uninhabitable as it’s…well, it’s salt.

Djibuti call

Pro tip: Don’t shave before you get in the water.

This is a video of pure salt:

We explored, tested the waters and tried to float.  We found some natural salt balls.  And, at one point, I fell into a hole, got some cuts.  Ouch.  The salt was sharp and rubbed into my wound.  Patrick, on the other hand, was feeling playful in the water, like an otter; he was loving the opportunity to float IN THE REAL WORLD.  It was sensory deprivation but with no boundaries. 

Afterwords, we all rinsed off with some dear fresh water, we had bought extra for this exact purpose.  The salt was so strong you wouldn’t want to let it sit on your skin for any length of time.  

Salt safety 101: wear shoes

When we got back from our salty excursion, we said goodbye to Jon and met up with another Couchsurfer, Douchan, who owned the best restaurant in town and graciously let us sleep in his spare bedroom.  Douchan was working the whole time and was also hosting a Spanish and a French couchsurfer — two solo female travelers in Africa, which I thought was pretty awesome. 

Fish two ways

Will risk getting rabies to pet.

For the next few days or so, we tried to figure out what to Dj-do in Djibouti. It was tough, actually, there wasn’t much to see AND it was atrociously hot outside.   We assumed the most popular Tinder profile in Djibouti would be something like: I have AC and a backup generator. #Heartbreaker.  We went to some markets, but when we found something we wanted to eat, the smell around us was so bad that we already had lost our appetite. 

We would wake up and for no reason I would still be tired.  It was the heat.

And, although we were there during “rainy” season, it only rained once while we were there…but we did witness locals taking full advantage.

Even a professional scientist wouldn’t be able to tell you how dirty that water is.

We took advantage of the water too… but instead of swimming in that garbage, we went to the Red Sea to take a dip.

Contemplating a midnight swim.

While we were swimming, some trash (most likely) kept bobbing around (so much for not swimming in garbage), but we weren’t totally convinced that it wasn’t a sea monster so we got out. We found out later that it might’ve been a giant turtle, and in that case, “we got out because we’re environmentalists”. – Patrick, the king of a spin story 🙂

The next day, we headed to the most luxurious place in all of Djibouti, the movie theater. Probably the only movie theatre in the whole country.  Because of all the army bases in Djibuti, this theatre showed several movies in English. (We saw two).  Spiderman and the Lion King, the former we liked better but the latter  was awesome to see while we were actually in Africa.   We spent the (much) better part of our day here.  It had air conditioning, which was crucial, and a grocery store attached, called Casino, WHICH SOLD ICE CREAM! (also crucial) This place was our home for almost 8 hours, I kid you not. (Not that you thought I was kidding.)  While at the mall, we read a children’s story where the heroine, a literal heron, dies of starvation. Dark… 

Not a single other person in the theatre; it was fantastic!

This air conditioning day was also a day of food variety!  We had pad thai for lunch and ate a small veggie pizza for dinner.  Never mind that none of it was that tasty.  The ice cream throughout the day MORE than made up for it all.

Besides all of that food that I have already mentioned, we also got a large caramel and salt popcorn mix in what I like to call a “Sammi’s stomach is about to hurt combo.” But actually, Patrick’s stomach started to hurt. Plot twist.

—————-

On our last day in Djibouti, Patrick wanted to get his hair cut …in a shipping container on the side of the road:

A haircut– Djibouti style. We pointed to the coolest picture on the wall and Patrick got his African style on. 

That night, we were able to afford a delicious lobster meal (thanks to our generous host Douchan who helped us save money ) and I got to do one of my favorite things: eavesdrop on foreigners living abroad.

The next morning, we walked to the airport (the 2nd and final time I would be at Djibouti International), and arrived 1.5 hours early. Because we were too early, they made us sit outside of the airport and wait for our flight.  When we final did get inside, a cat greeted us with meows and we did have to do some more waiting for our tickets to be issued.  When we finally got on the plane, we realized that it was just as hot on there as it was outside. Good bye forever, Djibuti.

We landed back in Ethiopia where both Patrick and I had layovers (but we couldn’t leave the airport) before heading on our separate adventures. Patrick had 12 hours before he was off to a trumpet festival in Serbia, while I had 24 hours before heading to Togo. While we waited, we watched the worst episode of Queer Eye — Below Average Joe — and were amazed how we were in a major international airport and no credit card machine would work. At least for awhile.  Eventually they did and Patrick and I shared one final meal in Ethiopia.

Lest we forget…
Bugzaire. Norrrn.

‘mi

Welcome, everybody (but mostly Patrick), to Hotel-thiopia. The place where I document how we broke down and ranked all the places we stayed in Ethiopia (and Djibouti) using 12 categories.  Can you say…”time on our hands?!”

-Toilet 
-Shower
-Utility
-Towels (super stingy w/ towels in Ethiopia)
-Bed
-Lighting
-Noise
-Space
-Cleanliness
-Cost
-Location
-Hospitality 

Great news! We didn’t stay here!

This place in Lalibela got 88 total. Downside is that you can’t hear the gorgeous chanting of the monks in this photo. MINUS 12 POINTS.

Here are the full scores for each place, again, for our own memories.

Ethiopia (out of 120)

Addis: 7, 7, 8, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 3, 6, 9 = 82

Mekele: 5, 4, 5, 5, 2, 5, 2, 3, 3, 6, 3, 4 = 47 39% (where I got sick)

Axum: 3, 3, 3, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 5, 7, 4, 4 = 46

Gondor: 0, 0, 1, 3, 7, 5, 6, 2, 0, 1, 10, 9, 7 = 51

Bahir Dar: 8, 9, 7, 4, 7, 8, 7, 9, 9, 5, 9, 8 = 90  (won in the tie breaker)

Lalibela: 7, 6, 4, 5, 9, 3, 10, 9, 9, 8, 8, 10 = 88

Dire Dowa: 5, 6, 6, 7, 7, 9, 8, 6, 8, 9, 8, 7 = 86

Harar: 2, 0, 1, 0, 2, 2, 3, 6, 9, 6, 10, 8 = 49

Djibouti 

AB:  10, 7, 5, 10, 9, 9, 10, 6, 10, 0, 4, 4 = 84

Douchann: 10, 7, 6, 8, 6, 8, 8, 6, 5, 10, 6, 10 = 90

I know, I know, this is so cryptic.  Whatever, it means something to me and it’s my blog.  I’ll end with a photo-thiopia.
❤
‘mi

Camel’s on the menu.

While we waited for our camel meat to cook, people offered us RAW meat!  They were eating it as is.  Both Patrick and I politely declined — it was already a big day for our stomachs.

Celebrating hump day the right way.

Overall, it was pretty good!  The glass bottle cokes and spicy sauce added to the experience.  

All gone.

Making eye contact.

A size up.

Question: Where was this gun when the hyenas were around…

Extreme bird watching:  The only thing that makes it extreme is that we went all the way to Africa to do it.

Searching for elephants.  PS.  Intentional camouflage?

Smile! You’re on camel camera!

The local community.

Ethiopi-baahh

The safest street food in town.

The high-fashion/scary models of the animal kingdom. Just look at those cheekbones.

Committed to a life full of adventure.